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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Who is supposed to chase who?

I am female and have been look up dating advice since a found a guy that I liked. After spending 8-9(?) months talking to him he seemed to be becoming more interested in me until he slowly started pulling away more recently. He is busy with school and work yet he hasn't texted me in 5 days now.

The advice I got for females was that a guy should chase you. I also did the reverse sort of by looking up advice for guys and they say gals should chase guys. Really seems like I have started to care about the guy yet I'm not sure where he's at with his feelings now. At the same time I don't want to text him too much. Any thoughts or suggestions?

(Yes, he knows I like him.)


Caught up to him at his break time and said hi/ talked about how we have been doing. He seemed happy to hear from me. ^ ^

He's still busy with work and stuff yet he said he was really productive the last several days and that we'll talk more a bit later. Will keep you updated on what happens. 

(Also I we met online and are a bit of a distance away at this point.)

Update 2:

He said he only sees me as a good friend. 

Update 3:

He went through a bad experience with online relationships and doesn't want doesn't want to do them anymore at least it seems for a long while.

4 Answers

  • Gorgia
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Most dating advice sucks and most of it is a one size fits all type thing and they jut get your money. Do you know who is really supposed to chase who? Neither. Your supposed to run right towards each other. But for real don't play games just go for it, here is the thing everyone wants someone to approach them that is why gals want guys to chase and the guys want the gals to chase them. If you play games for too long your risking him loosing interest or thinking that you are not interested. He knows that you like him they secret is out now you just need to know if he likes you. I mean you might as well just go for it. Ask him if he wants to hang out or something. See if maybe he wants to grab a coffee. I mean sure play games with him such as flirt and tease him but don't play games where most of the time just end in someone loosing interest and finding someone else. I wish you the best of luck and feel free to update this and tell us what happened 

  • 1 month ago

    It is old-fashion to think the guy has to be the predator and the gal has to be the prey.  In fact some guys, like myself, are turned on when a gal actively pursues them.  It's good for their egos you see.

    So if you feel really good when you're near that guy and you want more of that feeling, go for it.  Become the predator...but, a big it in a way not to scare off the prey.  How that's done depends on the prey; so I can't advise you specifically.

    But I can say this, don't scare him away by even hinting at a permanent commitment when you initially go after him.  Don't, for example suggest you "move in" with him as that sounds like a relationship and commitment.  That might come later on, but not in those initial months when you've become the predator.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    There is no right or wrong here as to who should chase who.  If it feels right, do it.  Simple as that. 

  • 1 month ago

    I feel the same way smtimes but just say "here I've been texting you for a few days now and I just wannted to ask if ur ok and to text me back when u get the chance" or ask him about it if he still fells the same way

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