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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Should I tell my ex's new flame the truth?

Me and my ex were together for 6 years, while it was mostly long-distance we made it work and our relationship was great. We had plans to get move in together and get married after college. Well, when issues become apparent, I expressed them and my ex decided he wanted a break. A month later I found out he had ghosted me and started another long-distance relationship with someone else. He, however, told this new person that we rarely saw each other in our 6 years together and that we had just stopped talking to each other. He also told her we were together for 8 years. I'm healing, but I am continuously bothered by the fact he told this person lies about our relationship; it makes me feel like I was swept under the rug and angers me that he would do such a thing, and I partly feel she should know he's been lying to her. I'd want her to have the reality of the truth, not a false reality, so she may make a choice and not be trapped. However, I'm hesitant in reaching out to her because it sound immature but at the same time I feel like I would be giving her the opportunity to make a choice to stay or leave a relationship that start out unhealthily. 

Update:

I decided to not contact her. I realized I only want to reach out to her because it's convenient since my ex doesn't want to face me. Thanks for the answers. I'm working on detaching myself from my ex's actions and know I'll be better off; I just don't want to see her in the same turmoil as me. 

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Honestly if I was his new girlfriend I personally would want to know what I'm getting myself into before it's too late but that is an extremely tricky situation cause it could come off as you wanting to mess with his relationship and see him unhappy when in reality you're just trying to save the girl from heart ache and being blind sided , you could express to her that you mean no ill will you just don't want to see her be put through what you were put through and tell her at the end of the day it's her choice what she wants to do and that you wish her well ect but at the same time if you're simply wanting to get in contact cause you're angry about what he's told her about your guys relationship you need to make sure you're contacting her for the right reasons and not just for yourself, at the end of the day I'm not judging do what you think it right if you choose not to contact her and let things naturally happen that's your business and might be better cause no drama on your end, best of luck in your future endeavors :) take care

  • ?
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    He sounds like a coward to just ghost someone he loved and moved on instead of being a man and just saying this is over I found someone else. You can tell his new girlfriend this but things could get messy. 

  • 2 months ago

    Yeah you have to move on. You sound like you’re insecure and need to control what other people do and think. It’s over move on. 

  • 2 months ago

    Yes, it's immature. And she will tell your ex and make you look like a jealous idiot. Sometimes relationships don't work out. That's not necessarily anyone's fault. Should he have told you rather than just starting another relationship and not just ghosted you? Yes- but he probably thinks he DID tell you when he said he wanted a break. He didn't really do anything to harm you. It's better to find out before you move in together or get married. Leave his new relationship along. Now- it he had hit you or cheated on you, my advice might be different. But he just decided you weren't right for him. He's allowed to do that. 

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