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I hate not telling the truth but I don't want to.?

IF I EVER ENDED UP IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP OF COURSE I'D TELL THE PERSON. Sorry for all caps lol. I think telling the person I'm dating that I'm transgender would be inevitable and I wouldn't want to hide that.... 

However, some people I consider my good friends don't even know that I'm transgender. Neither do my teachers or almost all the people I come across.... I don't think the day will come when anyone will find out (I pray it never does). I'm not ashamed, it's just that I'd prefer no one else would know. I just don't wanna be known as being transgender. idk it's hard to explain... maybe u understand... 

But I've had to tell a couple "lies" of things that I guess should be happening to me but aren't due to my gender not matching my body lol... and I always feel weird about it...  

How can I feel less terrible about not telling my friends my secret? I told my best friend, that's it.

******I need real advice since I can't tell anyone I know about this other than family - I don't wanna hear from people who are just gonna hate on transgender people and say they're "mentally ill" or whatever crap. Because I've been like this my whole life, it's not a choice, and apparently I tried to hurt myself bad when I was 5. So please helpful answers only .. *********


thank you for you answer ! I'm in my teens but I transitioned a while ago...I ended up moving but it was for my dad's job so it worked out 

3 Answers

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Firstly this isn’t the best place to ask when you don’t want hate, there are a lot of shity trolls on here with no life. 

    Secondly you need to take pride in yourself and be confident that you are the gender you go by being trans doesn’t change that. Being trans just means you had to figure your gender out and you didn’t have it handed to you.

    I get not wanting ppl to know your trans. You want them to see them as you and not who you were in the past.

    But people who truly care about you won’t see you differently because they learn that your trans. 

    And? Taking pride in who you are helps other trans people be okay with yourself. 

    Also I’m going on this advice assuming you’ve already transitioned in some way and have like moved somewhere where people don’t know your past. So if I’m wrong I apologize.

    If you aren’t out yet? If you haven’t taken any steps to being your true self? Think of how nice it’s be to have people refer to you with the right pronouns and be able to be your true self and not have to be something your not. 

    *Edit* also like when it does come to telling people do so on your own terms even if it’s just your closest circle of friends. You do not owe anyone info on yourself. It’s okay to not want to be that out and loud person with a trans flag and pronoun pins. But if you’re more open about being trans even if it’s only with close friends it’ll make it easier when it comes to telling someone you are dating that you want to tell so it can be more serious of a relationship. Like it won’t have to be this big thing just more like oh hey this is me! If that makes sense? I’m bi and when I started coming out it was scary worrying that people especially people I care about would see me differently or not like me any more. But now it’s just a part of my identity? My friends and people I care about know my identity. As for others around me like coworkers and such? Some know some don’t and I couldn’t care less. The people that matter know and see my true self and love me for it. <3

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is not something you can keep secret.

    And if you have sex without telling your partner, you could be arrested for "Rape by Deception."

    So you're much better off being honest.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    One of the rules of security in the Military is "Need to know". If a person has no need to know then they should not have access to sensitive materials.

    Being "transgender" this rule applies because it is your personal security that is being maintained. So unless it is some one with whom you wish to be intimate with, there is no need for any one (but your doctor) to know.

    I have Klinefelter syndrome and never took either option that the doctors recommended for me. But I did inform my wife before we got married that I am not a "real man". Hiding Gynecomastia is not the easiest thing to do.

    Because it worked for me, I suggest it as an option. 

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