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Pain of being always single ?

It never ends. People who complain about being single for 6 months. Try over 20 years. It makes me feel worthless. I don’t know if it will ever end? 

Update:

of course there are gonna be parts i absolutely love about being single. but walking about outside everyday knowing im alone or feeling like im unworthy of attracting anyone who is even a bit interested in me is the most painful challenge i will ever experience. the pain is there from when i wake up to when my head touches my pillow

Update 2:

its easy to say you never want a relationship again after being in a relationship. irrelevant to people who feel like they do not have the ability to obtain an experience of one.

Update 3:

Thanks I mean, it’s also more not that I can’t be happy with myself which I more than can. It just makes me feel invalidated than I can never have a girlfriend. I’m 22 

Update 4:

I always try to pursue someone realistic but they are always taken with a ring on their finger or thinking about or pursuing other guys who are better looking than me 

Update 5:

No one wants someone who feels sorry for themselves sure but it while it is common it is not normal to be in this position 

Update 6:

Don’t tell me to ‘not count my baby years’ when the only real kiss I had was when I was 3 years old and still impressionable to society and everybody I ever knew was in and out of relationships like it was nothing all through out primary school, secondary school and college and I’ve just been by myself the whole duration

Update 7:

Yeah. I’m ugly. At least I know that. Not sure I can say the same for you 🤔

28 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I've beeen single for about 9 years and i love it.  I might go out on a date once in a while, but that's about it.  I'm not interested in wasting my time on relationships anymore because people don't know how to be in one these days.  I have good friends, and i'm content being me.  That's what counts in my life.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I was lonely all my life too. So hard.

  • 1 month ago

    Honestly, you sound like a whiny dramatic person. All these people have given you FANTASTIC advice but you had to be a brat! 

    You say you were single for over 20 years lol and you're only 22??!! So you count your baby years??! Give me a break young one!

    "its easy to say you never want a relationship again after being in a relationship. irrelevant to people who feel like they do not have the ability to obtain an experience of one." That's not true. It actually HURTS more to experience a love that has been lost. Take it from someone with experience! If I could turn back time and had the chance of never meeting anyone who had ever had the potential to hurt me, I sometimes wish I could do that! 

    Source(s): 36 going on 37 life exp, Asian Filipina
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    0ne days you ll get there thinking why didn’t I ask them out a long time ago wow I should have had a V 8

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  • 1 month ago

    22?  Dude you have plenty of time. I'm 41 and have yet to have one, but i have NOT given up hope, hang in there.

  • 1 month ago

    I've also been single for over 20 years (same as I've been alive for a little over 20 years lol) and I don't feel any pain from it. it all depends on your outlook and goals. I've never put myself out there so I know not to expect anything, which is where we might differ, since I assume you've tried and been rejected. But even if that's the case, you're already many steps ahead of people who've never bothered to try haha. Keep putting yourself out there if finding someone is what you want. We tend to remember the negatives more than he positives, so it's only natural to feel discouraged if nothing has been working so far, but its nearly impossible to not find anyone who will appreciate you. With so many people in this world, I'm willing to bet there's lots who are compatible with you. No matter how old you are, or how much experience you've had, if any. Maybe you just need to see things from a fresh perspective? And remember that being with someone should not be the reason why you're happy with yourself, and it's hard to find someone to love you if you don't love yourself as you are (single, that is.) Learn to be at peace with yourself and your situation before trying to find someone to fix it. 

  • hi
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Good afternoon :

    It sounds like you have been single all this time not by choice but rather because that's how things have turned out for you ...so I conclude that you must be a male. Am I wrong ? the way I see it, only men can be single against their will ...whereas if a woman is single is because that's what she desires 

    .I understand your pain but try to think about the positives such as :

    1 You haven't caused a woman to abort 

    .2 you haven't caused a woman to become a single mother .

    3 you aren't divorced 

    4 you haven't acquired any STDs

    5 you have never used a woman 

    6 no woman has ever used you 

    May I ask why do you think you have been single for all this time ? It's true that men are judged on many superficial things such as height , social status , humor skills etc but I think a man could probably still love if he has social skills ..and as a person who lacks social skills just by reading your post and the way you express yourself I can't help but conclude that you most likely have no problems when it comes to social skills ..Am I correct ? if so,.Why do you think you have been single for all this time?I hope you find a person who truly loves you and cares for you.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    you'll get there eventually 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Now is not always 

    I have just attended a funeral service where the couple met well into middle age. Single for over 40 years but then met the right partner.

    Nil Desperandum

  • 1 month ago

    I've been single for more than 20 years.  I don't mind.  I do it by choice.  So the point is that it isn't being single that is necessarily "painful", it's the expectations that you place on yourself (or maybe are placed on you by society but ultimately it amounts to the same thing).

    Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

    So that being said, your choices are to either change your reality (i.e. do something different) or change your expectations (i.e. be happy with what you have).

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