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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

parents not approving of a long distance relationship?

i am 21 and we been together for over a year. 

our relationship is long distance, overseas and we know it can be challenging but we have made plans to close the distance and overcome these challenges. 

however my parents are not accepting of the relationship because of the uncertainty about someone who lives far away and not knowing their background so well. 

while these are valid concerns, this person is someone really really special to me. we both share and know everything about each other and try to find ways to learn about each others lives. 

my parents have become very furious and upset and even threatened to kick me out of the house. 

i'm really torn apart by their reaction and i would like to hear all your advice. thank you so much !!

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Long distance relationship is hard but the best I think why?

    1. It shows if you truly love each other

    2. Distance doesn't matter

    3. You could find the right person

    Etc

    You're parents are dumb as hell, you should tell the background of your girlfriend/ bf but if you're parents still refuse then they are racist fucks. Do whatever you feel right

    I recommend move out  before your parents control you on who to marry

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you were with someone locally, your parents wouldn't know their history or background, either.  

    If one of my kids had a long distance relationship, i'd just roll my eyes and go about my own life.  I thnk LDRs are a waste of time.  

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Not even sure why your parents even know about this as one assumes the entire situation is being conducted online. But it would be easy enough to just allow them to believe you weren't still in touch with this person. Letting something like this get so heated that they're threatening to kick you out is just bizarre. So maybe just stop talking about it. Border closures being what they are globally means you've probably many more months before you'd even be able to meet this person anyway. 

  • Gorgia
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    Because you don't even know the person

  • 2 months ago

    Maybe your parents know best. You don't know who you're talking to over a phone or computer screen. Go out and find someone closer to home. 

  • 2 months ago

    You haven't actually been "together" though. You've been on the other side of a screen. It is really easy for people to lie about themselves and their lives, when you are too far away to confirm anything they say, and too far away to meet their family, friends or co-workers. Some people even become very good at tricking people over the internet, in order to get money, citizenship, information or just attention. They know how to charm people and can be very convincing. Worst case scenario, there are sex traffickers and abusers who prey upon people in other countries. 

    I know you think everything is fine, and maybe it is. But try to understand your parents' very serious and real concerns. Here are a few online articles about this:

    https://www.potentash.com/2019/08/27/dangers-meeti...

    https://pvteyes.com/the-dangers-of-meeting-someone...

    https://www.safety.com/10-online-dating-safety-tip...

    https://www.techwalla.com/articles/dangers-of-meet... 

    Or google "online relationship safety" or something like that. 

  • Janet
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You two have NOT been together AT ALL. Just in your fantasy. Not yet, at any rate. And it is JUST as possible that EVERYTHING they tell you is a lie. We cannot read “honesty” across a distance .. only when we are together in person and our subconscious “gut feelings” can pick up their subconscious cues.

    Your relationship will not START until you two are living in the same city and dating steadily. 

    You cannot know someone more than 10% when it is across a distance, and the other 90% is just your own fantasy/delusion projected onto them. This is because GRASPING who a person is comes from (1) the non-verbal communication that you can only pick up on when together in person, and (2) observing them in their life .. being with them and their family, them and their friends, going to their Xmas party and seeing how they interact with their co-workers.

    It takes at least a couple years of steady in-person dating to have a partial sense of who the person IS. And if you marry, another 3 or so years to actually get to KNOW them well.

    It makes no sense to invest so much emotional addiction to someone you barely know, and CANNOT know as long as they are far away.

    As far as challenges, those don’t start until you have been living with them for at least a couple of years. It takes 20 years of marriage for a couple to figure out HOW to get along, and only 12.5% of all married couples ever DO figure it out. The rest either divorce, or stay together but are miserable together, or have an emotionally “dead” relationship.

    Do NOT marry or live with a stranger. And do NOT expect them to be as you think they are once you are actually WITH them for a while.

    As for your parents, you are legally an adult and if they choose to throw you out of their house, that is their right. Your parents are being controlling, but they love you and you are being foolish and your parents are trying to protect you.

    You must be very unhappy to invest so much into a fantasy. Unfortunately, only happy people will stay happy, long-term, in a relationship. So if you count on this "relationship" to add sparkle to your life and to make your day interesting ... you will end up miserable with him, no matter who/how he turns out to be.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    All I can think is that if this person is from the middle east you may be in serious danger. That could be the view of your parents. You didn't explain anything about where this great love is located.

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