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Lisa asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Doesnt this sound selfish of my person of interest?

Young person in my 20s. Had a former boss in his 40s. Charming, handsome, gave impression he was kind. I left there in late 2019 and my boss told me he was attracted to me, he would call soon and we would hook up. A lot happened in my 2020. Lost both parents and had some health concerns myself. The guy never kept in touch like promised. He did in the beginning first few months. But hear he is a lot of stress also, but in year and a half I know he could have made time to reach out. I send emails every few weeks. I didn't after my most recent loss end of 2020 because figured he didnt care. A friend of his told me he was upset I quit emailing. So I emailed him again recently. He told his good friend how he doesnt want to lose me in his life but he isnt ready for a relationship. So in other words, he wants me to email even though he never replies to show I haven't moved on, but never replies or reaches out because he only wants to when he has ready. He has told his friend he really cares about me but doesnt email to lead me on right now because I deserve a lot and he thinks if he pursued relationship now when he is stressed it wouldnt be enough and he would hurt me. Doesn't this seem selfish, that he has never supported me in my losses or emailed me, yet claims he really cares and doesnt want to lead me on when he isnt ready and doesnt want to lose me in his life?

3 Answers

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    it does sound selfish

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It seems you only ever hear of him through this "friend". If he never contacts you directly, you have no way of knowing whether the "friend" is reporting honestly and truthfully.

    If I were you I would cut my losses, and move on.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    His explanation of his treatment of you is nonsense.  Find another person of interest.  And next time, make it someone closer to your own age.

    Even if you are really attracted to older men, you aren't yet mature enough to be anything but an ornament to them.  So do yourself a favor and aim younger.

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