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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My ex ruined my son's life for child support?

My son is 18 and he's in bad shape. I've been in his life since he was born but his mother and i split up when he was 8. I've paid her child support since then, lately he's been having behavior problems and ive seen it coming for a few years. I asked her to give him to me so i can work with him/on him more but she didn't want to. She's gotten so feed up with is behavior that she would call me enraged about it and would poke at the idea of giving him to me but wouldnt. Now that he's 18 and im off child support she wants me to take him. 

Update:

She can't control him because she's been partying the last 5 years. She hasnt done anything to warrant child protective services, but she's been an absent mother

6 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    You must be joking ! so the judge decided that she was the one supposed to have custody of him even though she spends her time partying ? how sad how our judges prioritize adult  females over children and fathers .

    Thank you for being such a good father . Thank you for caring about your son. thank you for showing concern for your son.

    It's so sad that apparently she doesn't care about her son anymore now that she can't collect child support anymore .

  • a
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    I can't for the life of me, figure out what paying child support has to do with this.

    Do you think if you hadn't paid it, she'd have been a better mother?

    Do you think that your son' would willingly come to live with you if you set up a stricter household than she does? 

    FYI Paying child support doesn't entitle you to visitation, and not paying it doesn't prevent it, so long as you are a suitable guardian.

  • 1 month ago

    Sad that the woman would cost her son the life he could have had, just because she couldn't let him go. Whether that was about the money or not I couldn't say.

    It could be that, no as a nearly full grown man, she is worried she might not be able to protect herself if his illness made him violent towards her or she needed to restrain him from doing something? Could that be the reason she is sending him to you now? Or maybe he has asked to be with you now? 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    "Taking him" does not involved a legal issue, because he's 18.  To "take him" or not is your decision based on what YOU want to do.  BTW, being an "absent mother" who raised an "out of control" child IS neglect.  He didn't get out of control yesterday. I find your language, in general, offensive. "Giving him" to you?  "Take him?"  This isn't a puppy.  This is a child.,

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  • Glass
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you really believed she was neglectful and that he would be better off with you, then you would have gone to court and fought for him. Teens can usually decide which parent they want to live with, if this is what he wanted it would have been simple to arrange. You chose to be passive, you are as responsible for the consequences as she is. There is also nothing stopping you from taking him in now and working with him. If you are truly the virtuous one who has never prioritized money over your child, then the matter should already be settled.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Exs are like that. Too busy trying to hurt you to see the damage they are doing to the children. Karma is a b itch though

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