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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 2 months ago

Why do I still feel so sodding guilty about this?

When I was in my mid teens, the most unpopular girl in my class confessed her love to me, and I was desperate to make out with a girl at the time, as I hadn't shared a kiss with a girl in ages, that any girl would've done at that particular moment in time, so I made out with this girl, and obviously, being in love with me, she was really eager to make it feel as nice as possible for me, because she knew that's what I wanted. Now, I could lie and say 'I didn't enjoy kissing her', but had any of you been there and seen us making out, then the noises I was making all the way through the make-out would've definitely proved me to be a bloody liar, so I won't even try that one. However, I was so embarrassed afterwards, because of the thought of what my mates were gunna say about the fact that I'd just made out with this girl, that I ignored her almost completely from that day on, whenever they were about, and just said a quick 'Hi' and 'Bye' to her, which, I got told years later, absolutely broke her heart, but I made out with her many times after that, whenever I fancied a kiss, because I knew she'd always be willing to kiss me. I just always made bloody sure that my mates never found out that we'd kissed, by quickly stopping and wiping my mouth dry whenever I say them coming. I'm middle-aged now, but I still feel rotten, looking back on it now, about the way I treated her way back then, all these years later. The way I treated her was frankly, nothing short of disgusting. 

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  • 2 months ago
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    You're not alone in this! You were kids, and she is probably embarrassed about it too. However, she's may well be married with children by now and even if she remembers, I expect she has more important things to think about. It's a positive that you have a conscience and feelings, so if you ever come across her again, you can apologise for your behaviour when you were a kid.

  • 2 months ago

    The long list of... "I wish I would not have done that".

    If you could talk to her about this right now, she probably would have forgotten all about this little incident.

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