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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

My bf doesn’t want to be intimate with me ?

Normally we are intimate and make love five times a week to four. But he’s working a lot and I stay up late so we have a chance to get intimate but he says he’s tired and not in the mood. I feel like I’m always asking for it which bothers me because he was the one to ask for it. Do you think because I’m asking for it, it turns him off ? I totally understand he’s tired and don’t ask then but when he seems awake I do and I get shut down. He’s not cheating he’s just working more. Do I just wait it out ? It’s been a month of this and we have it twice a week which is nice but I honestly would like more. I work a lot too and stay busy but I just like getting intimate with him even after six years of being together. I work out and keep fit so it’s not weight gain and I try to look nice, it’s mostly for me so I stay confident 


I have asked him he just says he’s tired. He’s not cheating. So that’s why I’m asking for advice 

6 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    That sucks girl, not much you can do, keep asking and get shut down or not ask and get it 2 times a week. When people get busy that's common. 

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Life, work balance. Sex is mostly about the mind and less about physical touch. If your brain is tired you can't really have sex. It's like a car without an engine.

    I would wait until he has a day of and is more rested. Working a lot and having kids often drains you of energy and sex can go on the back burner.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    OMG women are like children. ASK HIM!!!

  • If he's bothered by the fact that you are initiating things, then it's time to get out.  Whether you have gained or lost weight shouldn't be a factor either.  

    I'd say it's time to ask him what's going on, and try to get him to open up.  There's always the option of booking a long weekend somewhere; it'll give you two a chance to spend some couple time and hopefully find a spark.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    is he really working or doing something else

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Believe it or not, tiredness and stress really affect a man's libido. I would say this is the reason why he is not in the mood for being intimate with you as opposed to not finding you attractive or anything like that. I would talk to him and plan fun things for the both of you to do. The logic behind this is to get your boyfriend to contribute the relationship in a meaningful and romantic way. I wouldn't worry about him cancelling either because guys are always hesitant to cancel on their partners because they cannot live with the guilt. In saying that, when you do meet up with him place an emphasis on activities that have an interactive theme to them. The purpose of this is to get your boyfriend to interact with you in the way that you desire and contribute to the relationship in a way that is positive, emotionally fulfilling and hopefully leads to intimacy. After you start doing this on a regular basis, hopefully he will pick on the things that he needs to do to make you happy. However, be sure to give him praise when he does make an effort. Ultimately, this will boost his self-esteem and encourage him to show initiative in the future. I really hope this helps :)

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