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Decoding men talk? Timing and circumstances!?


Limited in how much I can write here unfortunately. However very brief background. Dated a man for 3 months. Got along really well. He previously dated a girl for 8 months before me. They broke up 2 months before meeting me. 

We are in our 30's. He's "unsettled" due to moving into mum's place and new job/career. He left home at 16 and parents divorced. He was put on Furlough- leave from work due to covid and worried/stressed that he may not have a job despite not liking it. 

He said he is confused and unsettled as his friend had offered him a job abroad. Said I know you want to settle down, don't want to mess you about while I figure this out, can't keep on if theres a chance i'm going to hurt you and can't commit to this 100%.

I can't just drag you into my mess of confusion as that is not fair but i'm kicking myself as everything was going great between us.

Any thoughts? 

Had previously said he doesnt trust girls or anyone and been cheated on many times.


"Also said that this is not goodbye so take care of yourself until next time we meet, whenever that may be x"

2 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    This isn't 'men talk'.  He clearly stated he doesn't want to move forward with this relationship.  He used an excuse of his life being a mess which left the door open for you to ask whether he likes you enough to give it a try anyway and let you make the decision of whether he's worth it or not.  Of course, that would mean hearing things you may not want to hear.

  • 1 month ago

    He's just not that into you

    OR he is too afraid of any commitment.

    Either way, he isn't the one for you, even if you don't want to settle down.

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