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Lucy asked in PetsDogs · 1 month ago

Why do I feel sad now that I have a dog? It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Please help. ?

We adopted a 1 year old rescue lurcher & we’ve had him for 3 days now. It’s our first dog together but I’ve had rescue dogs my whole life. We did lots of research before adopting and tons of reading so we were well prepared and we’ve discussed getting a dog for years!

He is utterly perfect in every way. He’s had 1 accident despite never having lived in a home before. He loves us with every inch of his little heart and is the most beautiful, kind and gentle soul you’ve ever met. If we were able to pick our ultimate dream dog - it would be him.

So can someone please tell me why we feel like we made the wrong decision? We love him SO much it physically hurts. But we spend every minute of the day worrying about where he is or if he’s ok. We aren’t sleeping because we’re worried about him. We spend the whole day feeling stressed. Me and my boyfriend are so sad because this dog deserves all the love in the world and we so badly are trying to give it to him... but the balance in the house suddenly feels off? It’s such a huge change for him and us. Did we make the wrong decision? Why do we feel like this? Will it get better or worse with time?

Please help, my heart is breaking and I can’t stop crying. I feel like we’re not good enough for him even though I desperately want to :( we know this is completely selfish as he has done NOTHING wrong!! We just want what’s best for him. We love him so much, I just want to feel normal again :(

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    It takes time to adjust or adapt to having a pet when you haven't had one before.  It is a responsibility to him for the rest of his life.  You worry too much.  Do all the training he needs & that will bring you closer.  Basic Obedience will teach him to be an obedient dog & much more pleasure for you.  Spend the time training & exercising & your dog will be a wonderful dog to own.  Do right by him & he will please you.

  • 1 month ago

    I was immediately going to where another here has already gone - post natal depression.    For years I wanted a dog and for years, it wasn't possible until finally we felt we could afford for me to stop working full time, and we brought our puppy home.   I can remember sitting on the living room floor, after mopping up yet another 'mistake' crying and saying I didn't think it would be like this.

    Getting a puppy, for some, is a huge culture shock although it doesn't hit everybody like that.

    So now you have a living being who depends on you which is a big commitment.    These feelings will pass as you get used to having him around.   Start with having him in for a health check, even if the place you adopted him from did this.  You should register him with your own vet in any case.

    Then get your days into a routine - getting him out for some good exercise (you can if you've adopted a slightly older dog who has had all his vaccination) will help him, and you too.   People will stop to admire your dog so you'll start to relax into your new life with him.    Please don't take him back - the more that happens, the more 'baggage' he'll pick up!

    Three days is no time to have made the adjustment!!  You need to learn what makes him tick, so you know if he's in need of a vet, or not.   I remember being concerned when I switched from a breed of years with, to my Whippet.  Despite knowing a bit about them via a neighbours lot, it was a culture shock.

  • Jojo
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The feelings you are experiencing are very similar to what new mothers feel when they bring a new baby home.(post natal depression)

    Your life has altered dramatically and you may also be feeling too much sympathy for  the dog, because he is a rescued one.

    Its not doing the dog any favours by you and the b/f acting so weak and feeble, and over sentimental with the dog, as what the dog now needs is a strong leader that he can look up to and respect and feel safe with.

    If you are worrying all the time and over petting the dog, it is not going to induce the dog to feel safe or see you as a leader.

    All the dog needs is a good walk daily and 2 good meals and a warm bed and he needs some basic training to help create a strong bond between you and your b/f.

    Its ridiculous to think you are not good enough for the dog.

    Its SO easy to feel  sorry for rescued dogs, but its not the way to treat them as dogs do not understand sentiment.

    Yes, they like receiving affection, at the right time, and they need to feel  they are wanted, but that is not achieved by over petting, it`s achieved by doing things together, like training and walking and discipline and praise at the right time. 

    So stop all this worrying and enjoy the dog.

    Its only been 3 days that you've owned him and I bet in 3 Weeks time you will wonder what all the fuss was about. 

    And I DO know how you feel because many years ago I went through a similar event. Good Luck.

     

    Source(s): GSD owner for 58 years.
  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Hi Lucy,

    It’s heartwarming to read of your love for your pet. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can and that your dog is happy and blessed.Myself, I realized that when looking after any animal, you do your best, make sure it’s well fed, well sheltered, loved and happy and then leave it to God. If you’re a believer tell God to keep your pupper happy and that you’re putting your dog’s life in His hands.

    At the same time, although it’s really difficult, one must always keep in mind that life on Earth is fleeting. We are only here for a limited time, before we go to God.

    Trust me, you’ve done the right thing. There are thousands of homeless dogs who are starving, left out in the cold and suffering from disease.In this picture you can see a stray dog that got in an accident today near my home, there is no one to care for it although animal services have picked it up.

    Sorry to make this post religious, but it’s the only true solution I know.

    God bless you and your dog.

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  • Sky
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Just take some time to get into the groove of things with balancing time devoted to your puppydog with the time devoted to your other responsibilities.  All you can do is your best, and learn from your mistakes.  Because you are so afraid for his well being, I also suspect you fear the day in the distant future that you lose him, whether to old age or illness.  There again, all you can do is your best with providing him the best of healthcare, health insurance (so you never have to choose between your dog and your bank account), and good quality food so he has the best active life he can.

    If you still can't shake the sadness and depression, I recommend you see a therapist for some counseling to get to the bottom of this.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Dogs are worthless. They provide nothing

  • *****
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Take a deep breath and give it some time. Having a pet can be a big adjustment. As you settle into your new routine and get to know him better, your worries will start to lessen and you can focus more on just enjoying your new pet. He sounds lovely and I'm sure you'll get to feeling more at ease very soon!

  • Kitty
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    So get new ☝️ Aaaaaw

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