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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

I have a crush on a guy but I'm not smart enough?

So this guy I have a crush on is extremely smart, he went to the best uni in his country and studied finance.

Although I'm a third year uni student, I have no direction in life, no idea what career I would like. 

I feel like I'm slow at processing information and at understand things. Like I've been learning German for about six years now and I still don't understand it remember grammar rule that I've spent ages trying to learn. I can't play card games either, and I have a fear of going to parties because once I did and I didn't know how understand the card game. There are some things that I just don't understand, no matter how many times they are explained to me. I'm also not good at making friends or a boyfriend, because my conversation skills are so poor, sometimes my mind's go blank during a convo and I'm raking my Brain trying to think about a question I could ask the other person. Also, I'm really bad at thinking on the spot. For example, recently I passed the TOEFL, and for the speaking section it was hard because you have only 15 seconds or prepare what you're going to I ended up babbling a whole load of crap that made no sense whatsoever. My mother tongue I french and I feel like I can't even speak it properly, maybe because I'm so quiet (I lived in an English speaking country for the first 6 years of my life), and I feel like a don't speak like real french people. I've always had to study so hard compared to others and history was especially hard for me

8 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    My guess is that you need more practice in how to start conversations and how to carry on with them. You actually remind me of myself and I had a similar experience in life. It took me a while to get better but with practice I have gotten a lot better. This is what I did. I tried to practice conversation with people that were not intimidating. Like younger ones for instance. It doesn’t matter if you get stuck in a conversation with them. You start of with asking them a question. For instance : how was your day ? Sometimes you get a one word answer, like “good”. Try to probe a little more, like : what was the best lesson today, / or worst ? . Who is your friend you hang out with ? What is your teacher like? Are there any school trips organised ,or where was your last excursion ? When they answer, listen “very”  carefully. Pick up 9n something they Have mentioned and try to converse with them about that subject. So, yes start with less intimidating people and work your way up. Also write down interesting things you have heard in the day , saw, or have done. Practice a conversation about that at night , by asking your practice questions and answering. Try to be relaxed and casual . Try these conversations out the next day. Don’t talk too much but listen more and when there is a quiet moment, you could say, of yes, by the way yesterday I heard, or saw...or whatever you had written down. You could ask the person for their opinion about it. Like a news item for instance. You don’t need to 

    carry on in dept or deep conversation randomly. Just a little small talk, with a smile. Keep on practicing and building up your confidence. Do t worry too much about the card games. You know you can google about anything these days too ? Find out what kind of games they play and learn from googling how they work by taking your time. And don’t feel you are not smart enough for your crush. Put that out of your mind. It is not helpful to put yourself down. Instead keep on work8ng on yourself and be proud of every improvement you make. Keep smiling and be a happy, kind and giving person and you will see that people around you will warm towards you.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    To be honest, I feel like I'm on the same boat (with processing information and whatnot). I don't really encourage you to self-diagnose but maybe see a therapist? I don't mean it in an offensive way or anything like that, but maybe it's also possible that you have ADHD (but as I said, I would see a therapist if you feel that this is an issue). On the other hand, I happen to date someone very intelligent, and I realize that it's not intelligence that they care about, it's your personality. Even if I am a little slow with processing information or constantly need things to be repeated, he loves me for who I am. I don't know who your crush is, but maybe get to know him first. You will never know how he truly acts, and he might not judge you based on your "intelligence" or ability to grasp things. Don't feel too bad if you aren't "as smart" as other people. I'm sure you have your own skills that some people haven't perfected. I found that my habits were the reason why i felt a little slow/behind others, so maybe identify habits in your life that may be slowing you down (or preventing you to be better). Nobody is perfect. Social skills and everything takes practice. It's easy to allow your negative feelings to take over, but don't let that happen. Keep moving forward! We will all make mistakes, and sometimes it takes more mistakes to learn (that is completely normal as well). I hope everything goes well for you! <3

  • 2 months ago

    Just go for it my guy

  • rob m
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    most guys that get to look in your shirt forget about how smart you are,,you are just being inscure you are smart enough trust me,, smile and peacock a little,,

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Smart or dumb no guy cares about how smart you are, all we care about is the 3 letter word beginning with S 😉

  • Gorgia
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    I think give it a shot

  • donnie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    bla bla bla I am sure you are being too hard on yourself

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Being smart doesn't matter to men. It's only a bonus if she's not domineering.

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