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Why does sharing trauma always result in emotional invailadation in my relationship?
When I share past trauma and abuse with my partner, it ends in emotional invailation. Not just with past trauma but even current things that may have caused me fear, anger, sadness, etc. I receive a response that is judgemental or blameful. Today, I shared what lead up to my suicide attempt as a teenager. My partner basically said "get over it; leave it in the past," and proceeded to tell me a story of a person who was abused so badly it lead to death and multiple prison sentences of everyone involved. As I pointed out how this story did nothing to validate my feelings, it lead to threats of violence towards me, then suicide threats by him. It's a vicious cycle - the PTSD of things that happened 15 years ago - opening up and being vulnerable to my partner about it - facing judgement and blame - then my partner escalating to violence and suicide threats - and then me feeling retraumatized as I was 15 years ago. I don't know if it's him or me. I can't suppress the the need to talk about these things, and it's difficult to have no one supportive or close to me to talk to. The one person who lived thru this trauma and could truly understand the nature of the situation passed away 10 years ago. Suggestions on how to deal? I don't have enough time or money to consult with a psychologist. So many positives about my relationship. Would suck if this issue - the constant emotional invalidation - would cause it to crumble.
- Pearl LLv 72 months ago
maybe she dont want to talk about it