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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 2 months ago

I absolutely love the stones in my engagement ring but I hate the band with a passion. HELP! What should I do?

So my boyfriend proposed with a beautiful antique opal ring. I know I will get some hate for this because (opals aren't the hardest stones, it's not a diamond, etc.) but that's not the point. I just like opals. I really love how they look like a purple cat's eye stone one moment, and then change colors from blue to green sparkles the next. I just love that about my ring. The side stones are garnets so it makes the opals really pop.

My only problem is the band and I feel horrible for thinking this way! It's a super thick band and looks really gaudy for today's fashion, but if the stones were set in a thinner band it would be absolutely perfect. I'm so sad that it's the only component of the ring I do not like.

For a ring that is 140 years old, do you think it's possible to have every stone in the ring reset on a brand new style band? That way I could keep the stones he proposed with, but I get a band I really like in the long run. Is that a good compromise, or would the stones be completely destroyed in the resetting process?

12 Answers

  • L
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Discuss all of this with your boy friend.  It is possible to have all stones set in a thinner band.

  • 1 month ago

    Take what  you got and be glad you got it. Don't hurt him!!!

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    A good jeweler could probably set the stones into whatever band you like. But if this is an antique that's got some provenance and is worth anything historically that'll destroy the value. Then you'll also have to consider that he picked this out and he may feel that altering the ring is denigrating his aesthetic choice. 

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Jewelers put gem stones in different settings all the time.   All they are doing is opening the prongs that hold the stone and setting the stone in a different prong on a different ring.

    I would find an experienced jeweler.  Not from a chain store.  I had a Jeweler solder my engagement ring and wedding band together and made the band  wider.  They also changed out the prongs that held the diamond. Prongs can wear down and you could loose the gem stone.  I went with a jeweler who did the work right in their store. I didn’t want my ring sent out to have the work done.  

    If you keep the ring as is you need to have it check out by a jeweler before wearing it. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Yes, with a competent jeweller this should be entirely possible.

    It's your ring, you'll be wearing it - so absolutely look into this to get a ring you're happy with.

  • 2 months ago

    Discuss changing it on your first anniversary.  You do not screw with a family heirloom.

  • 2 months ago

    Well, first, these answers are silly.  Like all of us, you have a right to like a ring you'll hopefully wear the rest of your life!  There are many ways to appreciate the sentiment but want to make a change.  I hated the ring my husband used to propose.

    If I were you, I'd find a good custom jeweler and ask about this. My concern might not be what happens during the reset, but whether or not a smaller band would be able to support all the stones.  If this happens, maybe you could repurpose the garnets into earrings or a necklace.  

    On the opals, this is my alltime fave stone.  They definitely are soft ,but a good jeweler can create a setting that protects them and then you just need to check for any missing prongs.  For high school graduation, my sisters gave me an opal ring and I've worn it lots of times since then.    About 10 years ago, I did get it reset because I lost one of the opals, but I don't think this was the world's best setting to begin with. 

  • 2 months ago

    Any jeweler can replace the band.  duh

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    you live with it........ it's just an engagement ring for gods sake. not the wedding ring.

    "i'm engaged, but i'm SO SAD about the band"... get over yourself. it's about the "love" not the ring.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Part of an engagement ring is accepting the man or the woman and your marriage for better or for worse.

    I would never want to modify or update my wedding ring or my engagement ring if you do all you have is a regular ring it loses its sentimental value and it's original intent here I am. Will you take me as your husband or wife.

    If you modified it it won't be the same ring if you want a ring that you like. Get yourself a new ring.

    But keep the original antique opal and Garnett ring.

    Opals in Garnett are not worth thousands of dollars like diamonds are.  And I would never destroy an antique.

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