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jojo asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Am I overreacting ?

I guess you can say this post is to vent a little and see if I am overreacting at the same time. So, my mother in-law has a horrible habit of just saying offensive things and I always have to keep my mouth close because I don’t like causing tension And I’m just always trying to be respectful. Anyway.. I always tell my husband that I don’t want to go over to her house and he forces me and says that I’ll look a certain way or I’m over exaggerating about the things she says. I try and to not go over to avoid getting my feelings hurt. It absolute TORTURE not being able to strike back with words when she says things to me. ANYWAY she’s been helping watching our kids for the last couple weeks while we work. Last night she said she wanted to go to the beach so we took her; mind you I try to keep my family business to myself but last night I opened up to her and told her my mom was kicked out of her place during the pandemic and the landlord she’s been faithful to for over a decade changed her locks so she’s basically homeless with my little sister until she can come live with us. His mom goes “Oh, she has bills to pay too. The businesses haven’t been able to get loans either” basically telling me that my mom deserves to get kicked out.... I feel so hurt and my husband keeps trying to brush off my feelings. What’s crazy is, when she’s crying over the smallest things such as her husband not listening to her, I’m the first one to confront her. Idk. can you guys tell me what you think❤️

5 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    MIL isn't wrong that the pandemic has hit everyone, including landlords who have bills to pay and can't when their tenets don't pay the rent. However, if MIL says stuff like this often and your spouse doesn't see a problem with it then he's the one you've got the issues with. Sounds like you might live in the same city as your MIL so just not seeing her isn't an option. Your partner needs to speak to his own mother about this. 

  • Archer
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You don't have to keep your mouth closed and it is "she" who is causing tension. Try saying some offensive things to here then ask her how she likes being treated like she treats you. Honesty is always the most effective means of communicating.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i dont think so

  • 2 months ago

    The next time you go to her house, speak your mind.  You'll probably  never have to go back. Problem solved. Your husband might be upset though. 

  • 2 months ago

    Your husband should be more supportive. He's siding with his mother who is basically saying that it's your mums fault she's in that position. 

    Some people do make bad decisions and others it's just unlucky. However she's not being a loving or caring person with her views. Some people can be bitter for no reason. Perhaps she's not feeling fulfilled in her life so she takes it out on others.

    The key to this is getting your husband to realise that he's being one sided and to support you more. You really need to have a heart to heart with him and show how upset it made you.

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