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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Don't l have the right to protect my children from toxic people? ?

I'm the very proud mother of 4 amazing kids! 28, 21, 18, and 17. My older 3 children are actually my nephews and niece. They came to be with me after their died in an accident 15 years ago. I was already a single mom, because my husband died in Iraq. 

There is one toxic person l have purposely kept my children from, and that is the person who gave birth to me. She is so toxic that l can't begin to describe how toxic she is. Anyway, every now and then I get messages from her "friends". Her "friends", tell me that l am 'cruel, mean, hateful, crazy, thoughtless", for keeping my children away from the person who gave birth to me. I disagree however. I have every right to do so. My children know my reasons. My father figure knows my reasons. l kept that person away from me and my children. 

So let me ask you all this: Don't l have the right to protect my children from toxic people?

Update:

@ Rock The Boat: the person I'm referring to is my birth mother. Not the mother of my nephews and my niece. She died in the accident that killed my brother. 

9 Answers

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    i think you have that right

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If they were minors, including the last one at 17, you would not only have the right, but also the responsiblity to protect them from those whom you believe to be "toxic". However, except for the 17 year old, soon-to-be 18 your kids are ADULTS. You thus have no responsibility left, or even the right to interfere with their own cholces of whom they wish to association with.  If you continue as you wish to do, it will come back to bite you in the end. I'm sure they've gotten the message long ago, about how you feel, now, its up to them, so stand down.   

  • 2 months ago

    A huge part of our lives is all about self-preservation. You have no obligation to associate with anyone you're not comfortable with.

  • 2 months ago

    You do have that right. Some states will listen to a Grand Parent's case in regards to visitation but a very good case would have to be made if it goes against the desires of the legal parent custodian... and it would only apply to minors. And would be expensive, for her, and would only apply to the 17 year old who is old enough that the courts would address to the 17 year old whether or not they were interested in meeting their grandmother. They would not be forced to do so. Without a direct order from the court, your birth mother has zero rights to any of your children at all. None. And you have every right, legally and morally, to refuse to entertain the idea. Your three adult children have the right to make up their own minds. Because, legally and morally, you have no more rights over them than your birth mother has over you. Which are.. none. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    The grandmother has a right to see them, even if she was satan himself she'd still have that right. You can't take that right away unless you go to court and it's 50/50 who wins. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    They aren’t kids anymore. They’re all old enough to decide for themselves if they want a relationship with their grandmother. You protected them as children, but now they’re adults. They have a right to meet her and decide for themselves if she’s too toxic. They’ve lost enough family members already, don’t keep them from the ones they still have. 

  • 2 months ago

    It’s your responsibility, but they are adults so let them make the decisions. You’ve done your job to protect them so now it’s time to set them free. 

  • 2 months ago

    Could you adopt the three on the basis that she is not in a fit state to raise them? It's possible a court might be on your side. However this needs more research. At the end of the day you raised them and you need to make them aware that whilst you are happy for them to see their biological mother (happy i.e. don't want to stop them because they will go against you if they want to) they need to know what she's like. It's better they hear it from you than find it out for themselves.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Yes but only one of the four is a child. So you have no rights in any respect with regard to the elder three. However you may have a case to sue for slander and harassment if you have the necessary proof.

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