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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Does it makes sense staying with a depressed guy? Is it better if he just leaves her?

So that she can go on her own way?

I am 25 years old and I was diagnosed with a light depression, started since teenage years but kept on til now. My girlfriend is 23, has a good job and a degree. One day I came to pick her up and saw her colleague, a good looking and self confident guy. I immediately got mad at him for being better than me and felt awful. I lost my mom at 12 and my dad died when I was 21 after some years I took care of him cause after falling from a construction site he wasn't the same he used to be. I left college the first year and never catched up again. My gf says she sees no problem at all, she says she loves me the way I am and she also shows it to me. I also can't complain about her or say that she doesn't love me, yet I feel unworthy of everything and useless. I'm always tired due to my job and can barely see her due to shifts. God knows how low I am feeling these days. This thing comes back regularly everytime something happens and I fall into despair. I just feel like she'll be better off without me. 

8 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Time to medicate your depression.

    You can stillgo backto school, if you want, you know. It is NEVER too late to learn.

  • 2 months ago

    You need to be in therapy, and possibly on an antidepressant as well. You assumed this colleague of hers was "better" than you? How would you even know.  You have self esteem issues, perhaps depression , and perhaps you also need to deal with ever present fatigue, which may be connected either to your job, depession, or both. You can go on line,  see a therapist with Doctor on Demand or other on line resources, without even leaving your home. If you are insured, it may cost you zero.

    So quit shooting yourself in the foot ("she'll be better off without me) and get busy taking care of yourself, so you can look forward to many years of happiness. Good luck, 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Doesn't really sound like depression is the issue here so much as you feeling actual anger that someone else in the world has it together more than you do. Depression can be treated in most cases (but the sense of entitlement you seem to feel often cannot). 

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Maybe you should hang on unless she's using you and has that other guy on the side.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I see no problem with dating a person who has depression. It is stupid to think that in a world like this, everyone should be happy all the time and see every positive angle in life.

    As long as you are pulling your weight and taking care of yourself (i.e; taking medication, working, and treating your girlfriend right), I see no problem with it. 

    I get that you have insecurities like everyone else. It would be silly for people to try and convince the world they have no insecurities to speak of. However, just remember that your girlfriend is allowed to have friends and talk to other people. It would be quite rude of her to brush him off and refuse to speak to him because he is a male, wouldn't it? 

    Remember that at the end of the day, she is with you. Not him. Maybe she finds guys like him to be pretentious and full of themselves, and was just pretending to be nice to him for appearances sake?

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    what is "light" depression?

    that's good your gf is successful. she can help you out with being successful too.

    what makes you think her colleague is better than you?? you only glanced at him. you don't know his life. 

    sorry about your parents. but they wouldn't want you to be sad. 

    you can always go back to college... you're only 25...

    hey, i can barely see my bf either. life is just like that sometimes. but it doesn't mean it'll be like that FOREVER

    bottom line, i think you should see a therapist... and also tell your gf how you are feeling. 

  • 2 months ago

    No you don't feel she's better off without you, you FEAR she will DECIDE she is better off without you, and guess what? Right now, I think you could be right. Not because you aren't as good looking as some, not because you haven't got as good a job as her, but because you are heavy furniture... SO, you've had some bad breaks in your life.... so has everyone else... possibly even the good looking guys. You make excuses for yourself, but do nothing to put things right. You whinge and moan and you must be like Eeyore around the place. EVERYONE has life challenges, but they don't make a career of them, like you seem to be doing.  It seems you have hung onto this diagnoses of 'light depression' as a lifelong disability. EVERYONE has 'light depression' every now and then. For Gods sake, stop the self indulgent, self absorbed, self pity... it's NOT attractive. and NOT good company. 

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    You sound like a decent person so it's a shame that you have depression. You've always had some very unfortunate things happen in your life but you are extremely lucky to have a girlfriend who looks over these things which is in no way your fault. You can not blame yourself for something that is totally out of your control. She doesn't see things the same as you do and that's great. She wants to be with you regardless so don't distance yourself because you think she'd be better of. She clearly cares very deeply about you and the depression doesn't matter to her.

    I previously dated someone with depression and whilst it made a slightly impact, it didn't mean that we couldn't do the things we both enjoyed and I would have never ever left him because of it. It's the depression telling you to leave her but actually you both need each other. She can help you through it.

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