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Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentLaw & Ethics · 2 months ago

Question about whether or not my experiences at last job constitutes harassment, abuse, or discrimination?

I recently transferred to another department I was asked why & then told it was discrimination.

Story: For a yr, was me her & secretary that started right after me. Director would go from overly friendly to yelling and critical, at that point mostly overly friendly.

The dept.expanded, She hired 3 people all the same gender &race/ethnicity as her.I was in interviews & others had equal or greater qualifications than those she selected. I was the only male & the only one of my ethnicity. The secretary was older female a different race than others.

Director moved me to the worst most remote office and her sorority sister hire got mine. I had no restroom close by & it was in terrible shape.

She’d always give negative feedback to me verbally but evaluations were always good. if I got praised from other departments she would be furious. If we went to meetings and I knew people she would get angry. Once she said secretary & I were conspiring against her.

She made staff text everyone when we went to lunch, arrived, were late etc. 

Once she yelled at me that I didn’t text that I as going to be late only when I arrived I had to send her a screenshot w/ timestamps. She would berate secretary in front of others. Once newest hire made a comment about how different she acted to me and secretary. Director fired the secretary & had a meeting to tell staff.

I finally told her I had put in for a transfer. She said” if that is what you want to do, I won’t say anything bad about you.” Thoughts?


Just to give a little more information, I never had this problem anywhere else I’ve worked I’ve been in the current department for six months now and I haven’t had this issue & I actually deal with more supervisors now not just one. The negative comments were not about my work my evaluations were always good she couldn’t say I did a bad job or didn’t do my work. They were more personal things, example she would ask for ideas in regards to changing the policy changing of form setting up a meeting

Update 2:

I would give my idea and she say it’s stupid. Then a few days later, one of the other coworkers would give almost an identical idea and she said well how wonderful it was.Before I left she said she knows I always did my job, so that’s why she wouldn’t say anything negative about me.

 She also told me once that no matter what I looked like I needed to be like Joe Biden with Barack Obama and know my place.

Update 3:

She went on to say that if there was a meeting, attention needs to be on her never me.

Then after she moved me the remote office there was no restroom and I’d have to walk far in the rain to go to the restroom and she told me now I know how the women in hidden figures felt and it’s about time there was some justice.With secretary she would have her in tears call her names and humiliate her the a few days later bring her flowers or other gifts. It would happen often 

Update 4:

I also don’t mention specifics to anyone at work except for the one new coworker who asked and is someone I’ve known for years and used to work with somewhere else entirely. The new position is a lot better and I do think the last supervisor had some issues.I never put in a complaint I don’t intend to put in a complaint and I’m not someone that has ever screen harassment discrimination etc. it’s just now that I’m gone and I look back I realize how toxic the environment was for me. 

Update 5:

As I ask & write all this I think Im traumatized from this experience. I am not sure if it was discrimination, I have no doubt she felt more comfortable around people she perceived to be more like her.

She definitely had something against secretary and to a slightly lesser extent me, it wasn’t related to my work performance, I know that. I was just myself and I acknowledge I don’t do well with flip/flop personalities and hers is extreme. Super nice or a Machiavellian tyrant. 

Update 6:

To clarify I chose to transfer. A colleague in my current department that I have known personally for years asked me why I did I told the story and they said it could be discrimination. As far as the respite I was moved to a remote trailer/ portable and had to walk in rain and mud to get to restroom. She told me her sorority sister couldn’t get her hair and shoes wet as part of the rationale for moving to that office. 

1 Answer

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I see no discrimination in what you describe.  I hire and fire for a business I own and run.  I pick employees based on education and qualifications but also on the basis of their personality.  There is nothing unusual about choosing a slightly less qualified candidate, and it's not discriminatory UNLESS I choose based on race, ethnicity, sexual preference.  But let me get this straight - You said, "Why am I being transferred?" and the person in power said, "We are discriminating against you"?  Extremely difficult to believe.


    I also see complaints about your work station and the rest rooms.  Do you have some type of physical or emotional problem that revolves around bathroom access?


    But to get to the legal part - what "she" said or did to or about other employees is NOT discrimination against you.  If you think you were treated unfairly, then contact an attorney and explore your options.  Keep in mind, again, that everything that happens (including flip flopping between super nice and Machiavellian tyrant) may have NOTHING to do with discrimination.


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