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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

I'm 20 years old and my mom is furious with me because she thinks i am lying about sharing my location?

So my parents are very strict and even though i am 20 they make me share my location with my younger sister. I did share it, but apparently my sister can not see it. my sister also said she sent me hers but i NEVER even got it. My mom is accusing me of doing something to the apple system that makes it so that it says i am sharing, when i'm actually not. this does not even make any sense. I cam home at 8 last night because i have a night time biology lab on campus and she thinks im out doing whatever when i dont even have any friends on campus!! anyways i have tried to move out so many times, but they always say that i am sinning by going against them... my college campus is 20 mins away from my house. i only want to move out so that i can learn to take care of myself and also not have to get in trouble for things i have not done every night.  My mom does not gve me the chance to even explain things because she says i'm being disrespectful. it is very frustrating. and its hard because they pay for my college and they always make me feel guilty when i try to leave. They also threaten to take things from me like my car, health insurance, and they also threaten to not pay for my college anymore. In this situation what would you do? I have an interview to be an RA this summer and idk if i should take it or not because i will basically lose everything. idek why they are forcing me to live with them! 

3 Answers

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    not much you can do but prove her wrong

  • T J
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Leave your phone at home when you go out....get a pay as you go phone and hide it and make sure its off when you are home.

  • Merry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    My eldest child is your age ...

    It's hard being a parent - we get it wrong (a lot) It's hard to let go. We don't want to see our children (yes... you are 20 but you will always be our children) struggle, make mistakes or not succeed...even though we know that this is a part of life. It's easy to fall into using manipulation (I'm doing X for you therefore you need to do Y for me) but manipulation, bribery and control have such negative connotations that most parents dont want to see it for what it is. 

    Speak with your mum in a quiet moment (not arguing or when she's busy) be open and honest... use 'i feel' statements so that you own how you feel, be humble, respectful and appreciative.... But most of all let her know that you love her. 

    eg - Mum I feel sad that you don't seem to trust me, we seem to be arguing a lot lately. I appreciate all that you and dad do for me. I love you both so much - I'm very grateful. I feel that I respect your rules but I need you and dad to trust me and believe in me. I'm 20 and I'm a young adult & I need to feel like you have faith in me. 

    When you question me what I hear is "we don't trust you" 

    Listen to what your Mum has to say. 

    You have far more to gain by being at home... So be smart... there is nothing to gain by packing your bags and moving out even though that might be what you would like to do. 

    They might hold the financial purse strings ... But what they really want is for you to succeed with college & be at home. They are not ready for you to leave yet. 

    Be the grown up... take the emotions out of it by timing a conversation with your mum when it's just the two of you, try and get a time when she's not distracted, busy or tired & sit down and speak with her but remember... You catch more flies with honey... Letting her know that you still love her and need her is a good place to start & reminding her that she's done a great job raising you & now's the time for her to trust that is a good way to finish up the conversation! Good luck... & hang in there. 

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