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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Expressing myself to my wife?

My wife and I have been married for three months coming up. She has diagnosed depression and severe anxiety. With the pills that she took for the first two months of our marriage, it caused such a decrease in libido for her and we’ve only had intercourse 3 times since we’ve been married. For me this has caused me to feel insecure... it’s hard to explain... but also I feel it’s just drawing us apart. On top of that we are still getting adjusted to each other’s habits, lifestyles and how we communicate. 

  I’m very talkative and love to express my feeling and I’m the talk it out before bed kind of a person. Or I can’t sleep. My wife has two jobs, I love that she loves to work, but for a while now the second job has interfered with our dating life. I basically see her an hour before we go to bed and then arise to make her lunch and breakfast before I go to work. Only the hours of sleeping... this job has caused me a ton of stress.. we talked about it once and she promised to quit her second job the month of January. When I express my feelings of being alone in my marriage and the feelings I have she has major anxiety attacks and I feel that I can’t express anymore... without having to turn around and comfort her or she will have a heart attack.... Can someone please advise me on what to do. 

7 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    What to do? You go see her counselor TOGETHER to see how you can communicate your needs without her going into a panic attack. It may be that it has to take a back seat until she is somewhat better. Or it may be that there is some sort of compromise that could give you BOTH some of what you want without making the other feel left out or lost in the arrangement. 

    Not doing anything is the only wrong choice here. 

    Good luck.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Not sure why you chose to marry someone in the midst of mental health treatment (and it's pretty shocking her doctors didn't strongly advise against it). But when you decide to put your life in the hands of someone already struggling just to manage their own you don't then get to complain that they're not meeting your needs. You two may just be too different as personalities to make it work. She's got a lot on her plate and you're very needy, this just isn't a good combination. 

  • 2 months ago

    Life isn't all about getting your rocks off.

  • T J
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Id  go for a annulment or a divorce now.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    The only person who can answer why she CHOOSES to work a second job is your wife.  I find it difficult to believe that she was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety, took NO medication, married you, went on medication.

    .

    You married a woman who was severely depressed and anxious, and now you are upset by those same behaviors?  Ridiculous.  I suspect she works two jobs in order to spend less time with you.  Very possibly the relationship is over.

  • 2 months ago

    Give her words to express herself 

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    "... On top of that we are still getting adjusted 

    to each other’s habits, lifestyles and how we 

    communicate..." -- this tells me that you were 

    wed way way too soon. Other than INSISTING 

    she stop one of the jobs so the two of you can 

    have some time together, to figure each other 

    out (and maybe even getting more counseling), 

    I don't see how this marriage will survive. 

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