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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Am i wasting my time with this man?

Hi guys this is going to be sorta long but i really need your opinion. I’m stuck. I met this man about 2-3 years ago when i was in a relationship who i had found very attractive and he would message me asking if i was single.. and of course i had said no and then he would disappear. then a few months later he would do the same thing and ask if i was single.. which i wasn’t so i had to reject him once again. well a few months ago i had broken up with my boyfriend so i was “finally” single and decided to join tinder. Well what do you know i’m swiping and i see him. i was sorta shocked because i had forgotten about him but i swiped right because like i had said he was very attractive and i figured why the hell not. Well we finally started to talk.. and he told me how happy he was that we reconnected and that i was finally single. We start talking everyday and plan on a day to hangout.. Well few weeks later that day comes and we have a great time. Really

enjoyed his company and it seemed like he did as well. He would message me saying how beautiful i am and just telling me things like “we reconnected so it’s meant to be” cute little things like that.. which is pretty soon to be saying but i was like okay whatever and brushed it off. Well we had hungout one night and something had happened to him that was personal and really upset him. and i had saw him go through it right in front of me... well after that incident.. (i’m going to continue on a photo on my notes) 


for ANOTHER week. Which this time he actually deleted all his photos.. unfollowed every body. and just blank. So i was like i’ll be damned if i message this man again asking what’s wrong. that’s his problem. well this monday his little toxic self messages me ... “hey i miss you💖 hope you’re doing well.” 

i deleted the message and never even opened it. i just think it’s unfair for him to be playing these games with me.. he’s 29 and i’m 22 btw. he seems like he likes me.. and then pulls

this bs..

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2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This guy obviously has issues with sharing his feelings and fears judgement. There is something going on in his life which he is obviously scared about sharing. I think that if this guy did not want to be with you then he would have told you by now; he certainly would not have come back to you after ghosting you for the first time.

    I would not give up on him just yet as no body is perfect; you do not want to move on in the hope of finding someone better only to regret it and realize that such a person does not exist. Therefore, what I would do is reach out to this guy and ask him what is going on. From there you basically want to reassure him that you will no judge him. This situation is all about taking baby steps so when he tell you what is bothering him be sure to use positive language so as to reaffirm his trust in you. Ultimately, he will get better at sharing things; it is just a matter of making gradual progress. I really hope this helps :)

  • Ashley
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Well the number one flag here to me is that he was messaging you on and off while having a boyfriend. To me when a guy persists to keep messaging a girl that has a boyfriend, that shows how low and disrespectful he will go. Now his disrespect is going into you guys officially talking and he is being wishy washy. I’m not saying he doesn’t have a right to go through things, but it seems like he would involve you and drag you into his own personal issues and it will affect you negatively. Steer clear of this guy and go for someone that has respect for you, and knows how to address their emotions like a grown adult. 

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