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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

What outcome does an ex want from you by messaging you, when he’s admitted he’s on dating sites, adding girls trying to get to know them? ?

I love my ex, wanted everything and settle down with him, but he kept doing things that hurt me. It continued and continued. My constantly fighting for what I deserve and don’t deserve and how I deserve to be loved and treated. Constantly saying what hurts me and to stop doing it. Constantly questioning him for the truth and his intentions and if he wants to be with me or not. He kept avoiding answering but continued doing things that hurt me but kept saying he loves me and wants to be with me and settle down. I called it off Cus I was suffering and nothing was getting better, he also wasn’t supporting me through my cancer treatment, kept adding girls liking girls while not loving me or supporting me. Not changing. I confronted him about it and he admitted to it. So I called it off and blocked him. I’m devastated and heartbroken so I removed myself from social media as I wanted everything with him. He broke my heart. He went onto dating sites (tinder) and added girls the very same day/next day! Wasn’t one or two it’s been over 30!! I can’t even imagine doing any of that!! Then he popped up and messaged me saying he loves me, I confronted him about moving on so fast, he said he wasn’t moving on and only did it Cus he was bored and to have normal convo with them, I obviously didn’t believe it, then he tried to sex talk with me when he never did that for the 17months together, so I never and questioned him, now his whole attitude has changed. Wtf does he want from me?

Update:

Ps: please read description properly. It explains everything. 

3 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Honestly this is just a continuation of how he behaved when you were in a relationship with him. He doesn't understand how upset you are and presumes that even though you broke up with him you'd still be up for sex once in a while. Stop loving him because he's not worth it. Block him on everything so he can't contact you. 

  • 2 months ago

    He just wants sex, don’t waste your time or energy 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "I love my ex"

    No you don't.  You really need to see this, because you need to heal and progress towards the future, which means finding a good guy and being happy in a relationship.  This won't happen until you realize you don't even remotely "love" him, probably because you don't know what love is.  I wish you had given your age, but one thing is true:  there's nothing you mentioned that sounds even a little bit like love.  There's one other thing that's always true.  The first couple years of a relationship are  always the best, because both people are on their best behavior and learning about the other.  If serious issues arise during this time, there is no bigger red flag.

    You say you confronted him about moving on so fast, but stop and think.  What was the purpose of this?  Did it make you feel better?  Did it clarify something you were confused about?  Then at the end you ask what he wants from you.  Why does this matter?

    I assume you're young and naive, because anyone who messages that they love you under these circumstances is playing texting games.  But you fell for it.  It's common, but you need to distance yourself from all of this.  Take time to heal and learn what you did wrong.  IMO, it's listening to someone say they love you, but their actions say otherwise.  Words are cheap.

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