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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 2 months ago

Nanny slapped my 15-year old boy across the face for stealing and lying. She says she's happy to quit if I think she was wrong. Was she?

I'm a single mother and we've had this nanny for a couple of years for my 5 year old. My elder son is 15 and it helps that she keeps an eye on him too, since he can be a little bit immature. She's about 30, both my sons like her and she's really sweet and responsible. I have video cameras in the house set up and there's never been a problem. 

I left for work yesterday and since schools are shut, my 15-year old was at home. When I returned, nanny took me to one side and told me that she caught my son sneaking into my room and taking money from my drawer. She asked him what he was doing and he said he was doing nothing.She knew he was lying so she told him she was giving him one more chance to tell the truth. He swore he was doing nothing. She then slapped him across his face sharply with her right hand, put her hand under his chin and made him look at her and asked him again. Instantly, he began crying and admitted he was stealing 50 dollars and gave it to her. She sent him to his room and said she had no problems with what she did.I went to his room and he started crying saying she hit him. I asked if he stole the money and he said yes. If you steal, you deserve a punishment that you won't forget so he needs to learn that he was wrong. Should I let her continue to be our nanny? I feel like my son needs to understand he was punished for doing something wrong and look at her as an authority figure. Or was she wrong to choose his face as the place to strike him?

Update:

Hi everyone, thank you for the responses, keep them coming. 

I sat my son down in front of the nanny and told him that I supported her. Told him she was right to slap his face. She was the guardian; I would have done the same if I had caught him. 

I told her that she had the authority to slap him again if he lied and stole, and told him to never forget this lesson. I explained if he had done this at school or elsewhere, the police could have been called. Important he never forgets this lesson.

26 Answers

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  • D50
    Lv 6
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    She was defending herself as much as anything. If you had accused the nanny of stealing, the teenager would not have admitted it. He would have let you fire her and give her a bad reference. He has learned an important lesson and you didn't have to hit him yourself. I doubt he'll try anything like that again and he won't believe that he can get away with dishonesty with her and, by extension, you. This really worked out for the best.

  • ron h
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Kind of a lessor of 2 evils thing.  the nanny probably shouldn't have slapped him BUT at this point if you punish HER for stopping your son, you'll be showing him that he can get away with crimes.  You can tell her (not him) that you don't want her to do that again.  Once a kid learns that HE is in charge--that he'll not pay a price, for crimes, you'd might as well put him out in the street b/c he'll have no parents.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    GO NANNY!!!  Children need to accept responsibility of their actions.

  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    She shouldn’t have hit him.  It should’ve been you.  Words my mother used to tell me when i was young that scared me... “wait till your father comes home.”  Terrified.  I mean it would be one thing when my nanny would tell my mother, another thing when my mother would punish me and another when my father does it.  Not a good enough reason to fire her because she’s not sleeping with the kids and she is taking care if them and i know how hard it is to get some little kids to become comfortable around strangers

  • garry
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    only sapped the little thief , your looking to bring your kids up like deliquints , good luck , by the way theres always a position for her , she is responsible enough , better than you . I would have bounced him of the walls maybe he should show more respect .

  • zipper
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    That is the parents task not the Nannies !!!!

  • 2 months ago

    No physical violence is to be tolerated. Out she goes. But you also need to deal with your own child's behavior. A 15 year old lying and stealing is NOT being "a little bit immature." 

  • helene
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you fire the nanny, you will be rewarding your son for stealing from you.

    Fire her a year from now. 😆

  • 2 months ago

    She was wrong to hit him, full stop. If you had suspected her of stealing, would you have slapped her across the face? Doubtful, because then she would be fully in her rights to press charges against you for assault. Is stealing right? Of course not, however, you are the parent and it's your job to parent not the nanny (who is not responsible for him anyway). I'd have fired her on the spot. 

  • 2 months ago

    she was not wrong, some kids need to fear the conseq. of their behavior, those that don't usually feel they can do anything 

  • Embery
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Somebody had to be the parent. 

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