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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

How do women feel about men who haven't dated a lot because he was prioritizing other things in his life or dealing with things in life?

When I was in my early 20's I didn't feel urgent about relationships. I was working to be self-sufficient and I had to make financial contributions to help my family. In my mid 20's I was working without a college degree and trying to become successful was difficult. I didn't think that I had much to offer so I didn't put myself out there. Then late 20's, I came back to school to get a degree. I first juggled work and school. I'm in my early 30's now and I had transferred to a good 4-year university, about to graduate as a STEM major with a big salary offer from a big corporation. I had a couple to a few crushes, did date a couple of people, maybe three in between but I overall, I don't have much dating experience. I was too focused on what needed to be done and always felt that I was not ready, didn't have a lot to offer. Now I have my education and career path is taken care of, I'm starting to take care of myself more by reading books, working out, grooming myself better. It's not that I'm inept socially or not know how to dress. I've worked 11 out of the past 13 years. I didn't work only if the school work load got intense or after I transferred. I dealt with a lot of people and I learned a lot too. But now I want to put myself out there and date, but I feel that I might be looked down upon or seen as someone who isn't desirable because of my lack of dating experience. In terms of looks, I have decent height and I consider myself average.

Update:

@kdog: It's worth understanding how people you're describing think and operate but people who are too laid back and prioritizing on having fun may not have the best influence on you. When I transferred to a 4-year university, in the beginning, I didn't even know you had to have internships on your resume to have a leg up for job hunting. So I tried to have friends that I saw as row models instead of looking to have fun. I did exactly that and now a big job offer with a six-figure salary

Update 2:

Christ, atrocious spelling. "role models" not "row models" I've been looking up weight training exercises and a lot of back exercises have "row" in their names, plus I haven't had my coffee yet lol

Update 3:

Science

Technology

Engineering

Math

Update 4:

@kdog: I don't think it's a good idea to get into a relationship for the sake of getting into a relationship. Never compromise, have self-respect, have standards, and be patient. Don't just settle.

5 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I actually understand what you mean. I’m nearly twenty two and have never been in a relationship. All my friends are either engaged, married, are having kids or still whores that party. I want to know the same thing. Is it a dealbreaker if a woman has never been in a relationship by her 20s? I’ll answer your question now haha. It’s actually attractive that you focused on your career instead of relationships. I think you did the smart thing. You could try meeting people at a bar or cafe or dating app. It doesn’t bother me one bit that you don’t have much dating experience.

    Update:

    It sounds like we have stuff in common. I don’t really care about relationships. My career is more important. But yeah it’ll be hard for career driven people to create relationships with no experience. If you have kik, I’ll hit you up haha.

    Update:

    I agree with your last update directed at me. I find it hard to believe the words you’ve said have come from a man though. You’re mature which is refreshing. The woman who gets you will be lucky.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Relationships are nice but it is important to tend to other matters in life. There are women out there would love to have a guy like you.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Just let your balls hang, loosen up a little bit, hit a few bar scenes that are more clubesque and not so much clubs because youre a bit too old for clubbing to be precise, but you can still find some rowdy bars that you could fit in with. You gotta learn to quit being such a workaholic and find some fun and lightheartedness thats when love will find you. You cant expect to socialize and find someone at a lonesome bar. Life isn't that ideal. You have to give a reason why women should be enthused by you. Oh he dances he knows how to have some fun, or look at him on the dancefloor dancing that little booty off. Or something the like. 30 years old?!? He can still move his hips like that? My god I have seen it all. But yea just have fun dont have a frame of mind that youre going to attract or pick up women because youll ice yourself. Just have fun and let the baddest bitcches come to you. You don't have to approach just sit back relax, dance a little, show some dominance watch out everybody let me show you how its done whip off your shirt throw to a bad bitchh that you spot in vip. Then just do what you do to make bitcches fall in love they want to see that youre outgoing, suavé, charismatic, enthusiastic, light-hearted, fun, etc. And the most important they want to know that you know how to have a good time. Put your hair back and show these bitcches how its done. I believe in you. If no one else believed in you. I believe in you.

  • 2 months ago

    What's a "stem offer"?  You may need to catch up on social skills, since you've been otherwise focused, but this isn't necessarily a "bad thing". If you have a good personality , good values and ethics, you might even be considered "a catch". But there seems to be an imbalance here: lots of achievement, but no social life?  This is a terrible time to expand your social life however, because of the covid pandemic. Do what you can without endangering yourself, and good luck. 

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    I would say you are wise and I would want to be with someone like you. I have my fair experience of men not having goals and I think it’s great you put your goals first. Whoever gets to date you is one lucky girl for having a man with goals. 

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