Is this still considered cheating?

My boyfriend that I really loved broke up with me when the year started, and I got a lot closer to my university guy friends. Among them was one super nice guy who I got close with, and I would be lying if I said I had no feelings whatsoever. Anyways, my boyfriend came back to me (he called me one night) and said he regretted the break up instantly but waited for some time to pass to make sure getting back together was what he wanted. I immediately said yes to getting back together, not realizing how drastically my life would change again. I didn't realize how close I really got to the guy friend until I got back with my ex, and it really hurt to tell him a few days later that I would no longer talk to him. Is this considered emotional cheating? I feel like the answer would be yes, but I'm just making sure.

Update:

I forgot to mention that I only met ans talked with this mutual guy friend online while playing games with my university guy friend group. And it was for a few days.

4 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    You were single, that's irrefutable. You don't even say how far along you got with this new guy but it doesn't sound like there was even kissing involved. So if your new boyfriend (who was also your old boyfriend but the relationship ended for a while so now you're starting over) is telling you this you'll need to be very careful because that's an insane level of wanting control over someone you're not even in a relationship with. If this is just you doing this to yourself, stop it. You may have some sentimental reason to pretend this breakup never happened but it did and for a while there you were free as a bird to talk, date, sleep with anyone you wanted. 

  • 1 month ago

    i agree with the first answer about the emotional cheating part but .. at this point ...you have a decision to make you have to decide what you waant you cant live your life ever wondering what could or might have ben

    your bf broke up with you to make sure u are what he wanted so why dont u take abreak from him and see if HE is the one U want ..

    and then go from there atleast then u will have a clearer idea of what you want and what will make you happy

  • 1 month ago

    There is no such thing as emotional cheating.  It's a made-up term, invented by psych students who needed something (anything) to write about for their PhD.  Look it up if you don't believe me.

    Only cheating is cheating, and it's not done on the emotional level.  We all know what cheating is, because it's when you engage in sexual or otherwise naughty-naughty activities with someone other than your chosen lover.  

    Forget boyfriend-girlfriend, I've been legally married for over 20 years.  The contract clearly says what I can and can't do when it comes to my sex life, but that's all it says.  There's nothing in there about looking at other women, talking to other women, being friends with other women, or anything else.  It just says I can't do sexy stuff with them, because a clear line had to be drawn somewhere.  

    When you look at emotional cheating, the lines are always extremely blurry and there's an endless amount of grey area.  If I think of Beyoncé when having sex with my wife, that could be emotional cheating.  If my wife says no to sex when I ask, but then decides to have some 'me time' on her own, that could be emotional cheating.  If my wife sees a bunch of firefighters doing a rescue and thinks they're hot, that could be emotional cheating.  If I tell a female co-worker something I haven't told my wife, that could be emotional cheating.

    See how this works?  There are no clear definitions, because emotional cheating is all about how it makes your partner feel.  You can't write solid rules about how to control someone else's feelings, and you sure as hell can't follow them.

  • A
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    When your bf broke up with you, you became single and had the right to date anyone you wanted. If he decided to come back to you, he did it knowing full well that you may have been talking to other guys. It’s not cheating if you were broken up. 

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