Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Why doesn't anyone want to date me?

Any time I have talked to a guy they always like me at first and then do not want anything to do with me. I do not understand because I have a good job, attractive, have a nice place with stuff, and I am very independent. Is that too much for most men? I just don't understand what the issue is with me.

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Younger men especially are not always confident enough to deal with a strong, independent woman. Play this element of your personality down a little at the beginning of any possible relationship. 

    To be liked, generally, it helps to be more interestED than interestING. Listening is good for making friends: ask people questions about themselves and their opinions and listen to them without interruption, except for little comments that demonstrate that you're REALLY listening. It shows you are taking them seriously, as in respect and acceptance. Don't sit there thinking about what you will say, because that shows more interest in yourself than them. Little pauses demonstrate that you are thinking about what they have said anyway. You can ask them how they felt about what they have just told you, or other specific questions to show you have been listening and taking them seriously. Be open minded and try not to disagree with people. For example, if they like a band you hate, ask what it is they like about them, best track, etc. (avoid the word, “why” as it can sound challenging). You can always say you don't listen to them much but you will now or something. Asking for advice is also good. Genuinely, of course, & don't overdo it. Ditto information – we feel pleased to tell someone something interesting they did not know, such as what’s on in town, latest sports score, etc., so by showing interest in their opinion, knowledge, etc. you’ll get some good feelings from them. Smiling is a good sign of acceptance. A lot of eye contact can also be good. Remember, if you want to have a friend, you have to BE a friend, and the best way to impress someone is to be impressed by them! One thing you can do is always to ensure you have a straight back: sit, stand and walk tall (hips forward) and take reasonably long, confident strides when you walk: this has the “reverse psychology” effect of helping us to feel more confident. Once we have self respect and a sense of self worth, we tend to find that other people respect us more too.Good Luck!

  • Ron
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    It's very difficult to generalize. There are like 3.5 billion men. I wonder if they all would refuse to date you. It's hard to say. I think it is just a perspective issue. Like when you want something, you want it yesterday. So it feels like it is never going to happen. But just be living the good life. What do you like? What gives you passion and interest? Pursue those things. They will make you happy. And when you are happy as just you, then you are in a good place to share it with another person. 

  • Alex
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Asks anonymously what the issue is. Hmm... idk. Maybe you're not actually serious? How are you gonna ask anonymously a question like this? 

  • 1 month ago

    It could be for any reason. Maybe you're too controlling, interested in things offensive to them, I have no idea because everything you said was very basic and normal so I don't know what the issue is. 

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