Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Do I tell my mom my dad was cheating without proof?

I have kept this secret for 5 years and I think about this every day. But when I was 23 I was messing around on my dad's laptop and found his Black People Meet account. I was for one shocked and did not know what to do with this information. My parents are married still. Me and my siblings always suspected my dad was doing dirt, but that was the first bit of proof I had actually found. He would also be gone for hours a day, stating that he was going to the store, and come back with nothing. He would also go to the store and come back and say he needs to run more errands and be gone for hours and come back with nothing still. 

I just...he's cheated before. And he's had a few wives before my mom and the cheating incident. My mom has stuck with this guy for 30 years and I hate how this is how it's turned out. I want my mom to be with someone who actually respects her, but I can't manage to actually tell her this account exists. Unfortunately I think it's gone now and when I went back to look at it the next day after I found it, I couldn't log back in to take a screenshot of the page, so I have no proof.

It's been so long, I'm scared she'll resent me for not telling her sooner or resent me for telling her at all. I don't really care about my dad, he obviously does what he wants and gives no ***** about others. But my mom, I just want her to be happy. I will support her any way that I can. But should I tell her? Even after all these years and without proof, is it even worth it?

9 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    I'd recommend that you continue to keep your mouth shut. If you were to tell her, there's a good chance this could devastate her life and she'd hate you for telling her.

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Forget all about it.

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    No, not without proof... 

    and likely not even if you 

    think you might have some. 

  • 1 month ago

    It sounds like you simply don't trust your Dad and want to protect your Mom.  But making unfounded questionable accusations fails to do so, and instead only serves to stir up trouble where no trouble existed before.  And don't forget, your Mom and Dad's relationship is their business, not yours.  They are adults who understand the difficulties of marriage and have figured out a way to be successful at it despite the evils of the world.  So give Mom (and Dad) a little credit and leave it up to them.

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  • rick
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    MYOB  !!!!!   Telling will ruin their lives. It would be incredibly cruel and destructive to tell her.

  • 1 month ago

    You and your siblings need to confront your Dad and DO NOT go gently on him!  Be heartlessly BRUTAL with him! Don't say anything to your Mom.  YOU are not the one she should hear this from.  By the time you and your siblings get finished with him, HE will be the one telling your mother and begging for her forgiveness.

  • 1 month ago

    I believe I have answered this same story a couple of weeks ago.  What benefit could be achieved by telling anything?  None.  What harm could be caused? Plenty.  So only a truly evil person would spill the beans.  Of course a "Trump" would use this info to blackmail dad.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Sure, if telling her will make YOU feel better.  Who cares how she and your father will feel.

  • Petter
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    She probably already know.

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