Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

Is She A Bad Friend? ?

I struggle with mental illness, particularly when I get into relationships. I’m aware that friendships are for having fun but it is also nice to have someone there when you need them. She was supposed to be my best friend. She’s been really a good friend to me & been there for me. Today we were going on a day trip & I was just not clear minded & just saying how much I hate myself & want to die, & she was silent listening. Then she said that she wants to go home. & when I kept asking her why she said she can’t help me when I say I’m suicidal & things like that... it felt like she gave me the cold shoulder but I tried to be understanding because it wasn’t fun and I know I can burden people with my issues. But still. I just don’t think I’m gonna be able to be friends again with her after, idk maybe I am in the wrong but I really needed her in that moment to atleast tell me that everything would be okay. But I don’t feel that love. I felt her boundary. Any advice? Am I in the wrong? Or should I leave her behind. 

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  • 1 month ago

    We all have boundaries. You have them too. Your friend is not a trained psychologist. She listened to you! It's not all about "fun" and I'm sure your friend is very well aware of that.. but she's not a trained psychologist. It probably bummed her out and made her sad and scared and she wanted to go home! She doesn't know how to help you. That does NOT make her a bad friend! If you have a carpenter in and they don't know how to fix your broken refrigerator... that doesn't mean they aren't a good carpenter!  If you are seriously suicidal, her telling you that everything is going to be okay would be a lie and bad advice and you'd not believe or accept it for a second. . If you are not seriously suicidal, you are merely seeking attention with all that "I hate myself" while demanding that other people love you. It's exhausting. I urge you to seek the guidance of a professional therapist. Please. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yes. She should have taken you to an acute psych intake ER the moment you started threatening suicide. Most people aren't trained and licensed psychologists so most people don't know how to deal with it when a dramatic personality type starts talking about self harm. One suspects this isn't the first time you pulled something like this on her. Go get the medical help you need to stop being like this instead of blaming others for not wanting to tolerate the intolerable. No one owes it to you to sit there and listen to you drone on about suicide. It's a subject that makes most people uncomfortable and if this is your habit it's a wonder you have any friends. You don't have to just live with being a "burden" on others. You can fix this with the right intervention. 

  • 1 month ago

    Your friend has breaking limits also. You aren't hearing her.

    She can not handle when you go on a suicide rant.

    A good friend declares a boundary but loves you. She did that.

    You need to adjust your meds,  your outbursts are too extreme to others.

    Please talk to your mental professional 

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