Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

How do I tell my parents they can't take my phone away anymore? I'm 20 next month and my parents have are too strict with me. ?

I live with my parents because the cost of living is too high. I do not understand why my parents take my phone away, I’ve never did anything that could lead them to stop trusting me. I think it’s weird because I’m almost 20 years old, yes I understand that I still live with my parents, but I would never do anything that would lead my parents to taking my things away I know better than that. If you comment my house my rules it just shows how controlling you are because you know darn well if any other adult was living with you, you would not take their phones away. If you comment move out since you are so grown, take into consideration that you can be poor and an adult. Imagine believing a living situation determines your adult status.

Update:

Yes I do pay my own phone bill and I do contribute financially. I don’t pay rent but I help around the house and pay for groceries.

Update 2:

@Susie I don’t even understand your comment how am I acting like a child. What I should be okay with the fact that another adult decided to randomly take my phone away for no apparent reason at all? Would you like that? 

Update 3:

@n2mama I understand living with other people and respecting their house rules. All I’m saying is that taking someone’s phone away is childish and if you are doing that to your adult child then that’s disrespectful especially if they are paying for the phone. If your adult child is

 disrespectful towards you maybe talk it out like adults or kick them out. Living independently does not make you an adult, I’ve met people who live alone that act like kids.

Update 4:

the sentence cut off @n2mama I understand living with other people and respecting their house rules. All I’m saying is that taking someone’s phone away is childish and if you are doing that to your adult child then it’s disrespectful especially if they are paying for the phone. If your adult child is 

disrespectful towards you maybe talk it out like adults or kick them out. Living independently does not make you an adult, I’ve met people who live alone that act like kids. 

Update 5:

^^sorry the sentence keeps cutting off I tried to correct it lol

Update 6:

@Fireplace I did try to ask them about it and the response was my house my rules, they refused to further discuss it.That’s why I was saying why can’t parents talk to their adult children like adults and communicate to them. Lol how is asking for another adults opinion immature isn’t the point of this app to ask questions? 

Update 7:

Hey @anonymous what if you don’t have the money to move out and your parents are controlling? And no I do not pay for their things occasionally I always contribute. “You can’t argue about how adult you are and live with your parents like a child” I hope you know in the United States, once you reach the age of 18 you are an adult regardless of where you live. So I do not know who told you that living with your parents makes you a child?....

Update 8:

So since you think living at home makes you child. I bet you would be fine with a grown man who lives with his parents and dates an underage girl because in your words if he lives at home he’s a child lol.

10 Answers

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  • Ivan
    Lv 4
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    You simply tell them that it's your phone. You own the account and you pay the bill, and it's none of their business. You could threaten to move out too. That will probably get them back in line again.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You know what I did when my parents were "too controlling?"  I MOVED OUT.  You can't argue how adult you are and live with your parents like a child.

    Maybe if YOU would act like an adult THEY would act like adults.  "Helping around the house" and "paying for groceries" (I'm guessing occasionally) does NOT qualify you to be an adult.

  • 1 month ago

    You don't understand how you're acting like a child? You are asking for adults to tell you how to speak to other adults - your parents. If you had the maturity of adulthood you would have already spoken to them on your own.

  • 1 month ago

    You seem very defensive about possible answers. 

    If you are buying groceries for the household and doing chores, you are effectively paying rent of a kind. Your phone, one assumes, is personal possession of yours, so how can they actually take it from you unless by force or your compliance? I myself feel that as your phone is not costing them anything financially or by way of inconvenience it has nothing at all to do with them; what reason do they give for asking for it, I wonder, unless you use it to talk loudly and disturb them. 

    Is it possible that their own parents were this way when they were around the age you are now? In a quiet period take them back to their own younger days and how they felt when treated unkindly by their parents. Do this sincerely with genuine interest - probably best not during an argument. That said, it might perhaps be effective when emotions are high. It is usually better to ask questions than to say things.

    You don't appear to be able to find work to pay for renting a room elsewhere, which is a pity. 

    Good Luck!

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  • y
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It is not just another adult, it is your parent, a parent that see's and knows your entire history from the time you were born, a parent like so many others that have difficulty understanding that you are, as grown as you are.  The image of you in their mind is normally not, the same that you have of yourself. Or even the one that you believe others have when they see you. To them, you are still a kid, your question sounds like a teen, a kid. Do you work full time or go to school, do they see you trying to build the foundation of your life, do they see you floundering around directionless.  You are right, I would not be taking my 18 plus year olds phone away.  That is unless they were sinking, heading in the wrong direction and I still had some say in it. But I'm also thinking if that sort of threat is being made at your age, there are other issues going on.

    "for no apparent reason at all?"

    There is always a reason, apparently, there are also communication issues.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Regardless of where you live or why, who pays for your phone? If it’s your parents, then it technically isn’t your phone, it’s their phone, and they have a right to take it back. If you pay for it, they have no right to take it. Just like if your parents give you use of a car that is still titled in their name(s) they can take away your use of it at any time as it is still their car, not yours. Yes, it sucks to be dependent when your age says you are legally an adult, but if you don’t like it, do something about it. Cost of living is high, but with a decent job and a couple roommates you could make it work. 

    I am sure you will give me a thumbs down and if you think I’m controlling, that’s fine. I’m a parent of two teens, and yes, if they are under my roof they need to respect my rules. What you view as controlling I view as respect and courtesy. If you want to play the “I’m an adult” card then you should be independent.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    People will say, "you can move out  if you don't like it." Like it's really that easy. You're parents should not be taking your phone, even if you live with them. Tell them the next time they steal your phone your gonna put a bomb chip in the battery and press the button

  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Do you pay your own phone bill? Then they have no business taking it away. Hide it when you are at home.

  • 1 month ago

    Just flat out tell them they can’t have it because you are an adult and it's yours, don’t be a wimp

  • Susie
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You sound like a child, not an adult. They can’t take your phone if YOU pay for it.  If you don’t like being treated like a child, then don’t act like one.    

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