Am I a "bad" person for seeking solitude ?

I'm 32 years old, relatively unambitious. I feed off the energy of my own peace of mind if that makes sense. I'm a creator or habit where I become very comfortable with myself and how I spend my time. I don't keep in touch with family, I find it difficult to communicate and tiresome. It's not that I don't want to have conversations, it's just not always easy for me. If it's a subject of interest we do tend to have conversations.

I don't really spend time with friends. I tried it for a while but honestly I rather just do my own thing atm and enjoy my freedom and my own me-time. At work I try my best to be a mediator. I try to create a team mentality and bring people together. ( Unless, someone is a royal *** and I'm just tired of being a saint to them. :D)

I will help people in need, but honestly when I'm honed into an idea or task I'm pretty hooked in and just want to get that done. It honestly annoys me a little when people distract me from my own objectives, self interests, hobbies.  Though, I will make time for my siblings when they are visiting. I will stop what I am doing and make myself available to them for hanging out and having fun.

When I'm with my siblings in person, I tend to feel pretty comfortable with them but honestly part of me seeks to go back to my own space and pass times which seem to bring me the greatest comfort. 

I've never dated before and honestly I feel like I'd be exhausted keeping up with all the texts, feelings, and all the complexities. 


Feelings, relationships are complicated, sometimes confusing and frustrating. I tend to like to have my own peace of mind with myself, keep to myself, focus on my own "zen" if that makes sense. Physically, sexually I don't really have that strong of a urge anymore. I mean, sex is sex but it's not a reason for me to jump into a relationship. I am searching for the same time I'm not really searching at all for anything with anyone, romantically...

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Hey there. Honestly, I think it's silly to ask if we think you are a bad person because of how you choose to live. Who cares what we think. You love yourself, you love what you do, and you love how you live. What we think comes from a place of ignorance; we don't know you and we probably never will. As long as you are happy with how you are and you know you are living a good life, then you are the best person you can be. I'm happy that you are happy, and anyone who tells you that you are bad because of it has a very skewed sense of good and bad. You are you, and nobody can tell you otherwise. Hope this helps!


  • 1 month ago

    I am with you.  I am a loner.  I don't like people, but I do.  It is hard to explain.  I don't dislike people enough to kill them.  I don't seek after real relationships; but If I could, I would.  You are not wrong in what you do.  In all honesty:  People suck.  If you want a real friend, get a dog.  They will love you unconditionally; and could give two shits less about what is in your bank account.  Humans are another story, will judge you...and make your life miserable.  Peace.  

  • 1 month ago

    No you're not 'bad'. In fact I like you! While you prefer your own company, you still don't sit back when someone needs a hand. There are many people with a 'gregarious personality'/lots of friends who never do that. You're the one I'd prefer to have around . . .  

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't think your bad. You almost perfectly described me. I am 20; no time for all the rig-a-ma-roll that enslaves.  I am busy accumulating wealth. All the family (a big one) expected that i would be married by now. Mom wants another daughter in law.  

    I do not even want to make time for that.  

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