Should I break up my family due to cheating ?

First of all let me say that my husband is a great guy overall. Hes a great husband, he treats me very good; always has, hes a great provider, hes great with the children and he's well liked and we've been together for over 10 years.  But he cheated recently with a coworker. Should I break up with him which of course will divide the family? He says he doesn't want to break up. Everybody's telling me to break up with him but I really don't want to.  I already know its not my fault and hes told me that. He didn't try to gaslight me.  He admitted it as soon as I confronted him. I know men cheat a lot, this isn't my first time dealing with cheating including my own father who I know is a great guy. What should I do?  

Update:

PS. Im not whipped nor a weakling and Im not financially dependent. I make more than he does enough to support the family alone. Don't stereotype. 

Update 2:

Even in your attempt to defend us women against cheating some of you are stereotyping a women that doesn't consider divorce the first option as weaklings. 

Update 3:

No im not going to get even by cheating also. 

Update 4:

If i decide to leave the marriage i will do so with my dignity in tact.  IF I decide. 

Update 5:

I want good advice not idiotic advice. As i said this isn't my first rodeo with cheating and im not weak enough to follow bad advice that will only make things worse. 

Update 6:

Dont try to help women if your solution is stereotying us at the same time.

6 Answers

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  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Not all men cheat a lot. you forgive him for this one, he will do it again. Get a divorce.

  • 1 month ago

    When you say divide the family, are you just talking about you, your kids and your husband?? Or do you mean other family members picking sides?

    I ask b/c for the most part, if you mean the latter, then I wouldn't pay too much mind to that; what happens, happens.

    If you just meant the former: it is certainly something to take into consideration if you do start to feel like you should break it off w/ your husband... you don't mention the age of your kids, but that seems relevant in the matter...

    Anyways, given what you said, I feel as the way you do- try to make it work. I'm assuming he's going to stop w/ the cheating; that seems like a given, but I only know so much about the situation... So yeah, if he can get his act together, then things can resemble something alike to before (I'm not saying the for sure will; merely that it could happen); hopefully he has gotten whatever it was out of his system by cheating... that being said, marriage counseling may still be necessary.

    Good luck w/ everything and stay safe out there.

  • 1 month ago

    Both men and women cheat. There are women who cheat a lot. There are men who are faithful. There are both men and women who cheat - but only once or twice, not "a lot." You're old and mature enough to know that, aren't you? 

    When anyone cheats, there's usually a reason. Reasons can include loneliness, sexual addiction, alcohol/drug issues, insecurity, anger, revenge, selfishness, relationship problems, and more. 

    Even if he said it's not your fault, there could still be some problems he's just not willing or able to discuss with you, right now. I would try marriage counseling before making a decision to stay or leave. 

    I'm not sure you're convinced how "good" he really is. Despite everything else he's done for you and your children, if you were truly secure in your belief that he's a good husband, that everything's fine and you should stay with him, you wouldn't be talking to "everybody" about what happened, and you wouldn't be here asking for advice. You would simply tell "everybody" that you appreciate their concerns but you and your husband are going to work through this together, thank you. Or you would have kept it to yourself, in the first place - assuming you're the one who told "everybody" what happened. How did they find out? 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    🥴🙄😊

    I see.

    Well... Id normally say dump him regardless. However, these are the little hurdles that married couples work thru or it breaks them. 

    So.... I think if I were in this situatuation and had a lot to lose like you... 🥴😊 Id get even. 

    For every woman he'd cheat with... you should mess around with 3 men. Hell, experiment with prostitution, cougaring and lesbianism. 🥴 I have friends who do.

    A family who plays together stays together. ✊🥴 

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  • 1 month ago

    Hmm I don't think you should divorce him. But I'm not you so imagine this: if you divorce him and split the family, how will your life be moving forward? Do you have your own stable income? Will the kids' school have to downgrade? Will you be significantly happier/unhappier? 

    If you're willing to forgive him, you both need to go to couple therapy. There he can explain why he did what he did, your feelings on the matter, etc. 

  • Rick B
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    WOW!  He is NOT a great guy if he cheated on his wife.  He is NOT great with the children if this is the example he is setting.  You sound very "whipped".  You need to have some self-respect.

    You know men cheat a lot????? WHAT?!?!?!?!?!  Seriously??  This is your expectation??  If your father cheated on your mother, he is NOT a great guy.  You have a very warped idea of what a great man is!!!!

    No, men do not cheat a lot.  You just seem to be around a lot of losers.  It is not acceptable for anyone to cheat and for you to make excuses for him is just sick.

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