Am I wrong for not wanting to babysit my little brother?
My mom recently had a baby he’s about 3 months old. I don’t mind babysitting but i’m starting to babysit more and more. i work about 35 hours a week i get off at 5 and babysit until my mom gets home around 8:30. It’s exhausting i used to go to the mall after work, workout, do anything i want to do but now i can’t. I baby sit because my parents don’t make me pay rent but i pay them back by cleaning and doing laundry everyday and now babysitting. So the weekend is my time to relax and do whatever i want but now they want me to babysit on the weekends too i don’t want to it’s mentally exhausting i don’t know what to do
- 4 weeks ago
Look with ALL RESPECT FOR YOUR PARENTS!!!! They decided to have another kid.Why have another kid if they can't take care of him themselves?They shouldn't expect you to be there 24/7.Like I said nothing but RESPECT towards them.
- NikiLv 64 weeks ago
Your mom decided to have another child. Her responsibility, not yours. How can she expect you to babysit after you get off work? I am tired when I go home and am not alert enough to watch a child. Ask her to find a sitter. I would also plan on saving and moving out, if you haven’t already.
- Laddie Gah GahLv 74 weeks ago
So you are old enough to get up at 5 a.m. for health kick workout, go to the mall all by yourself..you sound fully adult ( I thought you`re early teen.) like in 20`s or 30`s..Yet your mom just had a baby 3 months ago?...What happened? - some gigolo sowed wild oath into your family?. You are some outfit, i tell yah..
- Anonymous1 month ago
You're not wrong. You have your own life just as she does. Maybe you should start telling your mom no. Tell her that you work and you just don't have time and recommend having another family member or friend babysit. It's her kid, her responsibility. Not yours.
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- wldswedeLv 71 month ago
You feel how you feel, it's not wrong. Sounds like it's time to have a talk with mom and dad about how things are going. Perhaps you don't mind babysitting during the week, but would like more notice before the weekends if they need a sitter and you are not going to be available every weekend (or maybe only a few hours on the weekends versus the whole time). So, figure out what you would be comfortable with first and then approach them. If you are an adult, you also have the option to pay them rent or to move out.
- edwardLv 71 month ago
Do what i did when i used to babysit...take them to the mall. The kids i used to watch love getting out of the house. We go to the mall, we go out. Just outside
- MerryLv 71 month ago
Right or wrong your mom obviously feels that it's reasonable.
There's nothing to be gained by making negative comments about what is fair or unfair or her responsibilities as a mom ... Base your discussion on facts - negotiate and see it as a business arrangement.
🔸 Do your homework & present your mom with the information -
🔸How much would it cost you to move out verses what is a reasonable $$ to pay if you started paying board,?
🔸How much per hour would your mom have to pay a babysitter, cleaner etc ? Do your maths ...eg - If a reasonable board is (for example) $100 per week but a cleaner and a babysitter get paid $20 per hour that = 5hrs per week (it sounds like you are doing more than that just with the week day 5-8.30pm babysitting)
🔸Work out a roster and hourly rate (based on your maths) with your mom that is fair & reasonable for you both.
Be respectful but upfront with your mom eg - Mom it would cost you $50 per week to get a cleaner for 2hrs, the going rate for a babysitter is $10 per hour. It would cost me $100 per week if I moved out.
I am available to clean once a week for 2hrs and babysit for 5hrs.
What days and times suits you.
Be prepared to stand your ground... Moving out (at least temporarily) might help your mom see just how much you are doing to help support her, your brother and your family. Good luck.
- Anonymous1 month ago
You are not wrong to feel this way. Just because they let you live at home without paying rent doesn't mean that you are their live-in babysitter. You said you already help out by doing the housework.
I don't know your family or your relationship with your parents - but there are SO many things that you could say that might make them take a hint.
1. "Thanks mom. You are helping me decide that I never want children."
2. "You're the one who decided to have another baby - not me."
3. "I have plans already - what about hiring a high school girl to babysit."
4. "I am starting to look for a place to move, so you'll need to find another babysitter soon. I won't be able to do any of it after I move. I also won't be here to clean the house anymore either."
5. "I don't mind helping during the week, but I will only do one weekend per month."
6. "This might as well be my baby instead of yours."
7. "I feel less like your daughter and more like some kind of nanny/housekeeper."
8. "I am exhausted from working, keeping the house clean, and watching my baby brother, so I am going to do less housework in exchange for watching the baby. I can't do it all."
Pick whichever one you want or use these as ideas to help you think of something that you feel will work for you. At some point, you are going to have to tell them that you have had enough. You are young and should be out with friends and dating and if you are constantly home with the baby, you are going to be missing out on all the freedom you should have right now. And if you don't say something soon, this will last for a long time. After all, at just three months old, there are still several more years before this kind of routine would change.
- linkus86Lv 71 month ago
No you aren't wrong to want to spend your free time as you wish. But when you live at home you sometimes have to make sacrifices for family. If you don't want to do what is asked of you, consider moving out and fully supporting yourself.
- KerriLv 41 month ago
No you’re not wrong for not wanting to babysit weekends too. Sounds like you’re parenting this kid more than they are without adding more time in and you’re just gonna have to say no. Just matter of fact it state the obvious. You work full time and then give up 15 hours a week babysitting as well as taking up the laundry and housework in lieu of paying rent. Doing what you already do is more than enough to expect an adult child at home to do in return. Cleaning the house and babysitting for them so they can work full time and avoid the high cost of out of home childcare more than balances out. It’s unfair and unreasonable for them to expect you to also give up your precious free weekend time so that they can unwind from their workweek and kick up their heels. They can ask occasionally but if you say no then that’s that and they should respect that without making you feel lower than dirt or trying to make you feel they would boot you out for refusing. They need you more than you need them 100% and they know it. Kicking you out would hurt them way more than it would you financially by a whole lot so don’t be afraid to refuse. They won’t kick you out. As a mom of three myself I’m well aware of the rarity of a childcare option that offers safety and security that is also affordable and accessible. The cleaning you fo is just a bonus. If you were mine I’d fall all over you to keep you happy and rested in return for the childcare you already provide and not jeopardize it by trying to take away your free time just so I could party or whatever on weekends.