Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Why do men change once they get comfortable ?

I’m the type of person who adapts well to change but I adore consistency. I love consistent behavior and consistent personalities, but since people aren’t robots I’ve accepted that this won’t always be the case.

I’ve dated a lot of men. My boyfriend has proven to be the most consistent. We’ve been together for five years but I do notice that he also has a habit of changing once he gets too comfortable. For example, he and I had ended our relationship last November over an argument about extreme differences. Neither of us was willing to compromise. We ended things for about three weeks. Eventually he came back. He was SUPER romantic at this point; he’d agree to things that he would have never agreed to before the break. He was saying assuring things everyday, making promises about the future, and eventually had me believing he’d actually compromised. I don’t believe a person can change in three weeks but I do think some fire was put under his ***. Jump forward to a month later and most of this has fizzled out. Although there are some changes that I do see and appreciate but that’s mainly because I’ve changed and tend to ruffle his feathers at times. A lot of people say it’s because I make things too easy for him, but I’d prefer love to be easy than difficult for the person I love. Do you believe this? That you have to constantly challenge a man to receive the consistency that you want? I thought communicating what I wanted would be enough but this isn’t effective in all cases.

4 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Because just like women they're putting on a front to try to get a partner. You surely know women who in the early days of a relationship made sure to dress nicely and wear makeup every day. When you get more comfortable with someone it's normal to slip back into your normal patterns of needing a break from being perfect at all times. It's just not sustainable for a guy to be Casanova at every moment of every day. No one is supposed to have to keep up that level of effort forever. 

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Woman can be this way also, and it cannot be fixed, you are seeing the real him, and it will not get better. Its best to break up already.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Super sexist pot - you saying women don't change? From what I see, it is usually women who try to manipulate the men's behaviour.

  • y
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Men change for the same exact reason women change, they feel they can become themselves. I would bet that not only has he changed, but you have also. It takes two, not alwasy 50/50 either, working at a relationship to keep it going.

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