Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Why do I still love my abusive mother?

My mother neglected me terribly as a kid and showed no love. I never knew my father so she was the only parent I had and she never was a real parent to me. I felt unloved but didn't mourn for it because I did not know what it was like to be loved. It was like one who is blind and not knowing what they are missing since they don't know what eye site is like. 


At age 10 I was kidnapped by a neighbor who offered me birthday gifts and was locked in an underground bunker for 17 days and sexually abused. I was rescued when I found a phone when my kidnapper was asleep (I later learned high and drunk) and I called an aunt I remembered a phone number for. 


Finally after all this my mother lost custody due to neglect and friend's family adopted me. This all happened in 1992-1993. All these years later I still love my mother. Why is this? I have only seen her once and she died last year. I feel sad I could not have a funeral for her but found out of her death after she had been buried the next day. She apparently had a step-daughter at the time of her death. That woman has not replied to my outreach. 


Why do I still love this woman? I don't love my unknown father. I don't love the monster who kidnapped me either. My mother I do, why is this? 

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Being neglected or abandoned cause very strong feelings. Also you attach with family members when you are infant...believe or not she held you when you were born, probably nursed you, fed you, changed you.  Those are enough to have strong feelings...thats why you still have "love."

  • Ann
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You're still hoping for her approval, which sadly, is not going to come.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    probably cause shes still your mother

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    🥴 I dunno.

    But... if you want closure... you would only need to look into your own heart.

    Its hers.

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