Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

If marriage is about equal partnership then why...?

Then why I don’t hear conversations like should the husband take wife’s last name? Patriarchy! 

You may argue it’s just a name. But that shows the inequality in the institution itself. Imagine you worked so hard for something but you didnt put your name name on it. The name is what matters at the end. 

Another is that when people assume that the woman is the one to change and kids will automatically assigned fathers last name. 

There is no rule. Some cultures don’t even have like a “family name”. And they take fathers first name as their last name. Well in that case why not name the daughter after the mother. 

If I ask should I a woman change her name?

Society: yes! for the family unity. For the kids. (There is no rule that kid get fathers last name) erasing it does not mean she loses her identity. After all she got it from her father. (I agree the problem is female is not born with her own identity/legacy) then I get...She choose him. She has daddy issues. She is not committed if she doesn’t. God intended man to be the head of house according to the Bible. Inheritance depend on it. Is it to honor him. (Oh Isn’t she worthy of respect?)

When I ask should the husband take the wife last name? 

Society: Hell no! Joke. Laugh

It’s supposed to be other way around. 

Emasculating him! 

So much sexism!!!

And double standards 


Another thing is that mothers and even some of the women themselves suggest the change that she should and must! 

What makes mans legacy more important than the woman’s? I don’t understand. 

Yeah people may believe in equality but don’t want the change. Masculinity is viewed to be dominated. And feminine is viewed to be submissive. And egalitarianism is not people want to see. Cause people who benefit from the control don’t want to lose that control.

Update 2:

Oh It’s always done that way and that’s it. Irrelevant. This is coming from the times when he was the sole provider and thus family being named after him for inheritances. And Institution of marriage has very ugly history. We are past the medival times and 19th century. This sick patriarchal notion is outdated.

Update 3:

What’s wrong with kids having mothers last name? And why not? How mothers legacy any less that of the fathers? To move forward? why should the kids get fathers last name? 


I mean it’s their choice. But it is patriarchal notion is still there. The direct assumption that is the female counter part to change not the man. Although legally anyone can. And kids get the fathers. 

Update 4:

I’m not saying anything wrong about kids getting fathers name but I am saying why not the mom as well. 

8 Answers

  • OTTO
    Lv 6
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Actually you can do whatever you and your husband agree upon. Then have a lawyer draw up the papers. I like the idea of inventing a last name for the husband and wife. Both change their last name to this invented name. That would be fun to invent a new last name. I like "Royal." That would be a cool last name. If we had a son, we could name him "Prince." A daughter, "Queen."

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Idk but I didn't take my husband's last name and I stand by what I did i love my last name im proud of it its unique  and I love where I come from. 

  • 1 month ago

    This is similar to another question. Haven't you something better to get worked up over? It seems to be a storm in a teacup.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your equality is a cult with EVEN LESS  basis in reality or reason than the established religions you dumb khunt.

    Female means the offspring-bearing sex you brainwashed fascist turd.

    Exactly what male anything is equal to that, phucken bird-brain?

    Whether other people change their name is  NONE OF YOUR PHUCKEN BUSINESS you dumb turd.

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  • 1 month ago

    This is similar to another question.  Haven't you something better to get worked up over?  It seems to be a storm in a teacup.  Possibly you have never been involved in a decent marriage so you are arguing over something that you have no experience of, or facts about.  Just like a politician.

  • Sky
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Some men do take on their wife's last name.  Some married couples share a hyphenated last name, or both keep their own last names.  And another option is for them to take on an entirely different last name.  The wife taking the husband's last name is just an antiquated tradition that they may or may not want to follow.  What's important is that it's the wife's free personal choice to take on his last name and stop using her last name, if that is what she independently decides.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Marriage can be an equal partnership.  It is totally up to the two individuals how they work out the relationship.  The institution doesn't invade the home unless you allow it to.

    What MATTERS is how each contributes equally to the relationship and how much influence each has over the decisions that are made.

  • 1 month ago

    I had no intention of taking my husband's name after marriage but it hurt him so badly he was shocked and tearful (this man is not tearful) and silent and, since I don't think it's all in a name, I decided to honor him in the fashion his tribe desired and haven't looked back for 33 years now.

     Less important to me than I'd thought and far more to him than I'd anticipated. Not a hard choice in the moment I made it. I've wondered why a few times since but, again, it's an honor to our union and turned out quite well. 

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