Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 month ago

Why would he give up a relationship with a woman who's 18 years younger, smart, attractive and in love with him?

I'm 23 my ex is 41. We were dating for over a year. We met at work when I was about to turn 21 and he immediately started paying attention to me. He took me to the movies on the 1st date and our 2nd date was him flying me out to California for my 21st birthday. He rented a car and we drove along the coast and he took me to fancy museums, nice restaurants and to the beach. We had a good time and he even gave me his favorite jersey to wear and keep. He wanted to move in together right away. He rented us a really nice apartment with a balcony, master bathroom, pool, jacuzzi and an awesome view of the ocean. I helped with the rent but the lease and down payment was in his name. He flew me to NYC and Texas to meet his friends and seemed eager to show me off. He brought me to every one of his games (he's an athlete) and I'd hang with him and his team mates at the bar after games.

I was the first woman he'd dated since he was 28, he was 39 when we met. He had no relationship history or photos with ex's on his Facebook but he's very popular with women and has a lot of friends. He posted our photo all over his page and was proud. He paid for all the vacations and most of the rent even though he only makes 48k a year, he cooked for us, he always told me I was the prettiest women he's ever met. Any yet.....I apparently wasn't good enough because he said he didn't know if he saw a long term future for us. Now he's single and he didn't try to stop me when I moved on.

8 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You moved on?

    Why was that??

    Maybe he wanted to be wanted, and you moving on negates that.

    What is the whole story?

    I never liked chasing women, but they mostly require it.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    maybe he found someone better, or realises he needs someone more mature

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Obviously he decided the cost wasn’t worth the return.   It’s not just you, more and more men are deciding the bachelor life is better.  

  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Just because you're younger, smart, attractive and in love with him that doesn't make you his ideal partner.  Evidently, he wasn't in love with you.  Did you have loads of things in common?  Did you have the same sense of humour?  Did you want the same things out of life?  Are you interesting, good company, kind and honest?

    Many things are more important than being young, smart and attractive!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 month ago

    Perhaps the relationship ended as he felt he had nothing in 'common' with you or perhaps he thought you would eventually want to 'settle down' and have children and perhaps he didn't have any urges to become a Dad.

  • Bill
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Not sure why you think we would know the answer here. Clearly something felt amiss, but what that was can depend greatly and it's not a given that he even knows what it is. 

  • 1 month ago

    Yes, men in their 40s can be very attractive. BUT - my neighbor is a woman who married her husband when she was in her 20s and he was in his 40s. I've watched him over the years become old and sedentary while she was in her 40s and 50s, and still in good health and active. He died last week, in his 80s, after years of bad health. She's 60 and still has a lot of life ahead of her--- alone. Find someone your own age- or even younger, since men die younger than women. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    How would we know? Maybe he tired of you, maybe he couldn't keep you in the lifestyle he'd shown you, maybe he met someone else, maybe he's married. If you want to know, try asking HIM.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.