Joe asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

I need depression advice bad?

When i was in elementary school I was enrolled in the special needs program, I had no diagnosis, they kept me in there and told me every day how dumb i was, I later found out that the school tried to put me on meds so they could legally classify me as special, I attempted suicide in 4th grade with no success, As I approached middle school I needed something to keep my mind of of the depression and I found content creation to be my thing, making random videos and over 3 years after i started I realized people werent laughing at the content, they were laughing at me, and I kept going despite knowing this, just hoping that maybe my thoughts would go away, and I became the punching bag, I would just be made fun of 24/7 for the mistakes I did in the past and other videos i made. I dug myself a grave and I can't get out, high school started and I had the same mindset, and everything just looped again, people only became friends with me so that they could just make fun of me, multiple suicidal nights later I broke down and count take it I got new friends that care for me and like me, But i still need help, i can't talk to family because they would not take the news well, I dont want pills, but therapy doesnt really work, I am scared of my future, and my self. Because I know it would take one really bad day, and a lonely night for my mind to convince me to kill myself, I am scared, I need help, what do i do?

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  • 1 month ago

    You say, "I found content creation to be my thing, making random videos and over 3 years after i started I realized people werent laughing at the content, they were laughing at me."  

    This reminds me of something a humorist named Art Buchwald said. A long time ago, he was a newspaper columnist who wrote funny things about politicians. You can probably find a book with his writings in your local library. He once made a remark about his childhood - "It's hard when you're a little kid who's trying to be funny." 

    Comedy is like any other art - it takes time and hard work to learn it. A kid learning to be funny is exactly like a kid learning to play the violin. It starts off terrible. 

    I don't know if you have the talent for being a comic. All I know is that you have to work hard for the skills you need, which means not giving up when you're discouraged. 

    About your therapy, maybe you'd do better with another therapist. In any case, think about what you learned, and if you can find one or two ideas that make sense, remember them and use them.

    If you're depressed, I can't tell you exactly what you need. There's no one size fits all solution. I can tell you though that there are healthy lifestyle choices that can enhance the effects of the standard treatments with office visits. You're welcome to click on my name and read. This has details about self-help based on cognitive-behavioral therapy and lifestyle choices that help with depression - nutrition, basic lifestyle things like sleep, exercise, and social support, also traditional Asian methods.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqEM_jlDRZI

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