why would he stand me up if he initiated the date?

Question

I met a guy on hinge about a week ago. We clicked instantly and talked over the phone. He was very forward about meeting in person from the very first time we matched. We finally agreed to meet and he never showed up. I texted him to find out what happened and he said he was stuck in traffic but is OTW. He said he was about an hour away. I got upset and asked why he didn't think to call me to tell me he would be an hour late? He says, he fell asleep in his car after work and had to workout in Richmond that day and asked for my cash app to give me gas money. I honestly did not believe him because Richmond is 4 hours away. why would anyone drive 4 hours to work out when they made plans to meet with someone. He also claimed he was running around all day and didnt have a chance to use his phone. Complete BS. To prove to myself that he was lying, I asked him to bring me my gas money in person since he was "on his way". He agreed and I gave him my gym address. 30 minutes passed and he asks me where I was. I told him I was out with a friend. After 30 more minutes, he claimed that A friend just called him and he had to make a move to save her. I told him that I knew he had no intentions of showing up and that if he didn't want to meet up, thats all he had to say. In short, i told him to never contact me again.

I say all of that to say this, was I wrong for how I handled it? and why would he push so hard to meet me and not show up? I don't understand.

Answer 1

yeah, seems really weird, why waste your time like that, gosh so irresponsible. 

Answer 2

Perhaps I have misinterpreted but you tell him to bring you money at the gym and then aren't there.  You are "out with a friend".  Is that right? And after an hour he gave up.  If that is right you are playing stupid games to punish him for his not showing up. Definitely the wrong way to approach life.

Answer 3

Did you do anything wrong in the way you handled it?  No.

Whilst I would not be using the internet to hook up or seek relationships in the first place (just not me), you went further than I would have.   Had I been in your situation, I would have cut it off at where you said "Completely BS."

He flaked on you.  You saw it for what it was.  The minute he asked for any financial stuff, even if offering to send you money for gas, I would have cut it off there.   NO one I would ever meet, via any means, needs to have any financial info or access.   Who knows, maybe he just wanted your Cash App info as a means to try and hack you - and empty your account.

So - good job.  Keep up that "idiot radar" and be as careful as you can be with the internet dating thing. 

Answer 4

"Hinge"? As in a thing upon which things "swing"? So you're looking for a serious relationship on a site for swingers. Well, that's probably why. He's on a sex hookup site looking for swingers to swing with (i.e., have sex with), and he suddenly got wind that you're on that sex hookup site not looking for swingers to swing with but looking for a serious relationship, which is the exact opposite of swinging.

Answer 5

People are crazy. Seems like it would be simpler to just say "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made a date with anyone."

Answer 6

You sound very mean , pathetic and ugly 

Glad he didn’t meet you