How to deal with my boyfriend? He's got so many problems that I've become invisible.?

Me and my bf are crazy about each other but he's loaded with issues, to an extent that we couldn't see each other much since we met. In short: asperger's, depression (with anti depressant), toxic possesive parents who tell him to hang himself when he feels bad and that he's a failure, plus he is now under extra guidance of a psychiatrist because he can't deal with it anymore. He's 29, will graduate late now due to his depression, and lives with his parents but flees to his sister or grandmother often recenly cause the fights are getting too bad. Since his parents told him he'll have to stay with them and work in their business things have exploded. He wants to be with me but his parents threaten to disown him... that's the biggest issue.

We live 150 km apart and we haven't seen each other for 2 months since things exploded. His parents make him choose between hell or freedom. Meanwhile, how can I see him? He barely responds since he put himself under extra counseling. It worries me, i'm scared of losing him. I'm scared he will succomb to his parents' blackmailing. For now, should i leave him alone, or in fact try to suggest doing fun things together? Just a walk this weekend? I just wanna see him again and tell him he's enough for me, and that he needs freedom and to enjoy life to fight his depression, and that we should finally enjoy our love together, i can rent for us together, so he doesnt need to feel that pressure of getting a job quickly. I'm dying of pain.

5 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think your idea of a walk this weekend is a very good one.

    It will give you a chance to be outside and get some fresh air and be able to talk about what you want in the future and what he wants.

    I'm sorry for your boyfriend's psychiatric problems and the toxic environment that he lives in.  He needs to get the family drama under control before he can move in with anyone and perhaps the extra counseling is supporting him to do that.

    He is a grown man.

    If he finds that you add hope and fun to his life, this will make his decision easy.

  • 1 month ago

    Found your problem- long distance relationship

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Wow hes lucky to have you lol!

    What's the catch? What's the deal?

    Your offering room and board and to show concern for his emotional and mental problems?

    Either you're an empath or a sucker, or you feel sorry for him like a rescued dog.

    Well tell him to just pack and move in with you.

    How long do you wait? 3 months. No more than 7 months.

    I moved in with my girlfriend after 4 months meeting on facebook. Still here 4 years later. 

    My mom was toxic too.

    I'm not autistic, just sensitive and shy I guess, but I can be confident. 

  • 1 month ago

    Your boyfriend is 29.  Doesn't have a job.  Doesn't do anything independently.  Can't think for himself.

    And you think he is a "catch", you want to enjoy our "love" together, and not being able to is making you "dying of pain"??????????

    I wouldn't call it blackmailing... more like a co-dependent relationship.

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  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Walk away and don't look back.

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