Anonymous asked in HealthOther - Health · 1 month ago

Born with a birth defect?

When I was being delivered 35 years ago I was 11 and a half pounds and the doctor delivering me had a difficult time getting me our.. I kept slipping back in so the doctor pulled me by my left arm roughly causing me with a lifelong birth defect called erb's palsy the cause of this birth defect I can't lift my arm fully over my head and I can't turn my palm over and my left arm is a bit thinner and weaker than my right arm even though I lift weights with it and I'm trying to strengthen it  I'm having a very difficult time ... my whole life I've had this birth defect and so many things I will never have in life because of this... No girlfriend no wife no kids  because no woman will ever accept the man with a birth defect ... for all these years I wanted to find the doctor that did this to me and I know where he is now... I found him...I don't really know what to do I want to confront him but I'm afraid what I would do to him when I find him... part of me wants to yell at him another part of me wants to smash his face in.. What should I do? How do I cope with something that has affected me for my whole life?

6 Answers

  • Donna
    Lv 6
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I wouldn't confront him. I would just keep praying about this. Its possible if he didn't get you out, you could have had worse problems from losing oxygen and stress. You could have had brain damage, which would have been a lot worse, or they may not have been able to get you breathing. An 11 lb baby is huge, and I'm sure through human history, lots of moms and babies died because they were that big and couldn't be delivered successfully. Every one has problems, and I'm sure there are women who wouldn't care if one of your arms has problems. You just might need help finding the right woman for you. Sometimes people with disabilities find a relationship with someone else who has a disability, because it is easier for them to understand what each other is going through. Also, you may need some therapy to help you cope with everything and develop skills for having relationships with women.

  • 1 month ago

    I think you should get rid of such anger and resentment..

    As far as I'm aware, I wasn't born with any birth defects however one day, some years ago, I woke up with half face paralyzed! turns out I had bells palsy! most people have never heard of bells palsy! either way, the vast majority of people who are diagnosed with bells palsy end up recovering.... but that wasn't my case...I still have bells palsy;.... I'm still unable to move the left side of my face...

    so my point is that most people also have their own insecurities.

    Also, it is true that we always hear about how women want a man who is taller than them or a man who makes money or a man who is confident however there are women who aren't that superficial! 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

     There is truly way worse things which have happened zxjqk

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  • PR
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    This man doesn't seem to think these are the things that should stop us from living the life we actually want. Life should not be filled with what we cannot do, but with the things we are able to do. I suppose if you could not have been delivered, neither you nor your mother would have lived, and the doctor certainly knew this.

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  • Audrey
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    People with a lot worse "birth defects" than that have wives, kids, friends, good jobs. You might benefit from a good therapist to resolve your anger issues over what happened to you. Good luck!

  • angie
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    First of all, Im sorry you are going through this, feeling this way your whole life. Second, women DO accept men with all sorts of 'defects', some you can see some you can't...because they see the MAN first and they have defects and insecurities of their own. Third, DO write a letter pouring all your anger in it out. Then throw it away. A beautiful life is not ours to be born with, it is a decision we make. Maybe mailing that letter with the barest of details expressing how this affected your life would get a thoughtful reply about how a doctor did their best and was sorry...would that change your body? No. It is up to you to change your heart. Best wishes to you

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