Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 2 months ago

Is this an invasion of privacy to my preteen?

I have a 12 year old daughter and she has a phone. I tell her she can't have a lock so I can see what she is doing. She is not allowed to lock her door unless she is getting dressed. I do look through her friends conversations just to see what they talk about and if I should be concerned about anything or anyone(I don't read all of it I look for keywords).my daughter came out as lesbian and now we have pride flags all over our home. She is an artist and I told her to use her room walls as canvas (no paint on floors) she was thrilled. I know preteens or teens can be difficult to predict. My daughter has been ok with me im scared it will change. Any advice? Is it bad i look through her convos?

7 Answers

  • 2 days ago

    A child has NO right to privacy what so ever. 

    She doesn't need a locked door. Ever. Once a child starts locking a door then they start getting into all manner of trouble

    And she's NOT a lesbian. She's a spoiled child who is confused and needs therapy

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 days ago

    Although I never iinvaded mychildren's privacy, I don't think it is all that horrible to do so. Besides, I have 2 boys. Raising girls is a bit more challenging. I think I may have been more protective if I had a daughter. Probably because I know how I misbehaved us a female teenager . LOL

    My boys are in their 30' s right now. I have always had a great relationship with them both, and still do. As teens, I decided not to give them my opinion unless they asked for it. I picked my battles and let the small stuff go. I did as I said and I said what I did by setting a good example. I taught them honesty and compassion and manners, especially table manners. Compliments and encouragements are very valuable to one's self esteem. Teach your daughter self respect and to stand upfor herself. Let her know that she is capable of anything. Above all, communication is key to having a good relationship with your daughter. Listen to your instincts.

  • 5 days ago

    That is definitely an invasion of privacy. You want your child to trust you which she won’t if you keep going through her things. I understand that she is a minor and you probably do it with your best interest, but please remember she is entitled to privacy. She will be very open with you about things if she is able to trust that you will respect her and her privacy 

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    Your daughter isn't OLD ENOUGH yet to have any real sense of her sexual identity. Not at 12 years old. She may think she's got lesbian tendencies, but this could just as easily be the effect of all the hormones pumping through her system right now. I'd take that declaration with a big grain of SALT, and not get bent out of shape over it.

    And I'd get rid of your daughter's phone, period. She doesn't NEED A PHONE at her age- and having one makes her vulnerable to abuse and to criminal activities. She's not even old enough to drive yet, so what in blazes would she need a phone for?

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  • 3 weeks ago

    It's important that you don't overreact to what you see or hear. Teens fantasize a lot. Not everything in their electronic diary is real. As for her bedroom, respect her privacy. Most 12 year olds have started masturbating. Save both of you a great deal of embarassment -- knock first AND wait for permission, don't just barge in. 

  • edward
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Well...i used to keep things on my phone i didn’t want my parents to see when i was a teen.  Covos about sex, nudes, ect.  Just explicit material.  They saw a text once about my girlfriend in that era.  And it was about sex.  They were furious and checked my phone.  Luckily there wasn’t anything really bad on it

  • 2 months ago

    I'm a 17 year old male, and my parents had access to my devices and social media passwords until i was probably 15, which i hated at the time but looking back i know they just wanted to protect me, the internet is a dangerous place for a kid, and when i did things i shouldn't have been doing, my parents were there to put me back on the right course.

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