Grammar and sentence check please!?

Dr. Buckley, who wrote an article of 'Bridging the Breast Cancer Divide,', claimed that a December 2013 New York Times article's statement is true however, it lacked evidences especially based on geographical data. 

2 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    First, it's "an article on". One comma after "divide", inside the ' mark if you're in the US. Semicolon before "however" and the comma after.  "Evidence" is noncount, not plural. 

    You're stuffing too much into one sentence. And what is the statement that Buckley claims is true?

    A New York Times article on breast cancer (Dec.2013) made the statement that.... In "Bridging the Breast Cancer Divide," Dr. Buckley claimed that this statement was true. However, Buckley failed to cite evidence, and particularly failed to include geographic data.

    I'm not sure when Buckley lacked evidence or the NYT article does. That's what happens when you try to put everything in one sentence-- the connections get lost. English writing favors shorter sentences than you would use in academic writing in other languages. 

  • 1 month ago

    it sounds okay to me

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