Grammar and sentence check please!?

Dr. Buckley did not believe the factors, such as obesity or excessive drinking, which causes a breast cancer, are irrelevant to it. 

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is awkward in structure, but the actual error lies in the use of a singular verb (causes) for a plural subject (which=factors).

    Also, as a matter of meaning, no one would consider a factor which causes a thing to happen to be irrelevant to that very same thing, so the sentence as written does not make much sense, have a useful meaning.  You say he doesn't believe that the factors causing the thing are irrelevant. Well, no duh.

  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If which refers to the factors, it should be cause.

  • 2 months ago

    "Factors" is plural, so the verb is "cause." You don't say "factors causes this." Saying that something causes cancer and then saying it is not irrelevant to cancer is what is known as redundancy.

    Saying they are "the factors" that cause cancer means they are the only factors, which is incorrect.

    You could say "Dr. Buckley believed that obesity and excessive drinking are among the causes of breast cancer" but perhaps that isn't fancy enough.

  • 2 months ago

    No comma after "factors". No "a" before "breast cancer". 

    This is a sentence with two negatives. That's hard for the reader to process. Is that another way to put it? Did Dr. Buckley think that factors such as obesity or excessive drink were relevant causes of breast cancer? 

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