Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceOther - Education · 2 months ago

I accepted a friend request on Facebook from a woman who bullied me in high school nearly 25 years ago.  Are our mutual friends laughing@me?

FYI, I’m a guy.  And because I don’t hit women, I did absolutely nothing one day in tenth grade when she hit me in the worst way/method possible.  I won’t go into details about what happened, but the whole room full of students saw what she did and reacted like the studio audience of a TV sitcom —  a lot of noise, “OHHHHH!!!” in a “you got punked” manner (not “punk’d” like with Ashton Kutcher, but “punk” meaning I just sat there like a punk and didn’t defend myself).  For the rest of my high school years, people made fun of me for that incident.  And when a transfer student arrived, students who witnessed what happened to me, would tell new student about the time I let a girl hit me.  I was the laughing stock of the school until graduation.  Do I look docile and passive to our mutual friends (former classmates) for accepting her friend request (or for friending her, according to whoever assumes *I* friended *her*)?  And are they laughing at me as they remember what that Facebook friend did to me?  Please, no trolls.  This is serious.

The only win I got out of that incident, if any, is that the teacher gave her detention and let me off scott-free, which really infuriated her, “That’s not fair!” and such.  But he wouldn’t listen to her, and therefore felt only SHE was in the wrong.  But for the rest of our high school years, she came out on top from the student body’s perspective.

Update:

I don’t say anything to her on Facebook, not even “Happy Birthday, nor do I comment or “like” her posts.  The only thing I did was “like” a page that she invited me to “like,” but I only liked it in efforts of being diplomatic.

4 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    So, you provoked a girl to "bully you", she got punished because you were to scared to confess, and you're still worried people think you're weak? Now everyone thinks that, not just your facebook "friends".

  • 1 month ago

    Does it really matter if your mutual friends are laughing? You are all adults and I would highly suspect you have all moved on, and that they really wouldn't be taking that much of an active interest in your life, either online or otherwise. If you choose to friend someone that is your business and no one elses. 

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    It is completely possible that she's changed and feels bad for what she did, but I suppose that would only really be determined if she actually tried to contact you and apologize, otherwise I don't see the point in her just adding you to Facebook as that doesn't mean anything. I don't think anyone is going to laugh at you or really think much of it, to be honest, especially if you're all adults at this point. If anything, they may think it's weird but also might think that you've just put your differences aside. Don't dwell on what anyone else might be thinking anyways, as it doesn't matter. All that matters is what you and her think at this time and whether or not you've made amends. Like I said, it is possible people can change, just be wary of the ones who haven't.

  • 2 months ago

    Good grief- they probably don't even remember it. That wasn't bullying- that was assault. What the other students did was bullying. 

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