Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

This guy said it's a turn off that i'm wanting a committment so fast but he's wanting sex. so why cant i want a committment?

My divorce was finalized 7 months ago after being in a toxic marriage for 10 years. He said i should just have fun and give myself time to heal and not try to get into a committment again anytime soon. He said everyone will think i'm very weird if i'm in another relationship now. I get that but he wants sex and i don't like having relationships outside of sex. it makes me feel used. He said a relationship will come for sure but he always starts off with having sex first to make sure he's fully compatible with them. I get that but my fear is that if we have sex he'll feel like he's gotten everything with no work. He thinks texting me 24/7 is work. He told me the fact that he texts me 24/7 should speak volumes. He was like " I'm not the type of man to be on the phone all day like that. I'm sending you long texts from sun up and till sunrise all day everyday so yes I feel like we should be able to have sex."  He also wants us to have sex before a date. He said I will take you out on a date next week if we have sex and i can make sure we are compatible all the way. he said emotionally we have a bond but he needs all of it. I don't know how the sex is going to be but we defintly have an emotional connection, we have a ton in common, he's successful and amitious, he loves to travel just like me, neither of us want kids, we both share the same religion and politics values. we share the same sense of humor etc.   I've been texting him for a couple of months, talked on the phone. 

Update:

He also said " I need to make sure you are fully over your ex. a lot of girls go on dates and be thinking about their ex their whole time."

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He is a user. Kick his behind to the curb where he belongs! 

  • T J
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    He just want sex. dump the POS.

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    The guy is clearly desperate. 

    The real question is, why are 

    you continuing to waste your 

    time with him?

  • 2 months ago

    Any guy who txted me that much would get dumped by me nearly immediately. Someone who wants to constantly be in my face, influencing me, needing me THAT MUCH... just wouldn't work for me at all. My suggestion, since you asked, is that you do NOT have any relationship besides friendly for another 4-5 MONTHS. In fact, merely 7 months out of a decade long unhappy marriage... why are you looking to date at all? I think he's a turn off who is giving you the bum's rush for sex and the "emotional connection" after txting for a couple of months is more on your side than his. Need to have sex BEFORE you have a date? This guy is no catch, dear. He's just a horny guy. There are a lot of horny guys who don't want kids or a commitment. 

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I can't believe your tale but I agree with your sentiments.  You can want whatever you want.  ( I would want the same) He can want whatever he wants. Now with the gulf between you I don't think this is a suitable person.  He is too hung up on sex to ever become a human being.

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