Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

My Married Affair Partner still Reaches out to me after I ended the affair.  Is he happy in his current relationship or no??? ?

I ended the affair after he told me his wife found out. After it ended he always either Text me once a month or Call. He switches it up. Since the affair ended there has not been one month since he hasn’t reached out to me and this has been going on for 7 months. He sometimes states on the phone he was around my area where I live. And that he just wanted to “check up on me”. Why is he so worried about me I'm 25 he’s  40 and he constantly “checks up” on me.. I find it weird a man with a wife/family with a busy life can even remember to check up on me monthly whats wrong with him?? I left him alone so he could be with HER is he not happy?! 

5 Answers

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    He’s looking for a hookup. If during any of his monthly check ins you gave him an indication you’d be open to it, he’d be there with his pants off in a hurry. Whether or not he’s happy in his marriage, he isn’t going to divorce her, but if you’d be willing to entertain him again, he’d jump at the chance.

    Ignore him.

  • Mike A
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    What he is doing, is testing you to see if you are having a weak moment. He doesn't really see anything wrong with what he has done, and he assumes that since you went for it before, that you just might change your mind again and take him back. 

    Is he unhappy? Sure. Definitely. But it is not on you to make him happy. What he is unhappy about, is not getting what he wants. He married this woman because he knew he could sneak things past him. He also believes that since his wife didn't divorce him when she found out, that cheating is a forgivable offence. So he's trying his luck every time he checks up on you. 

    He's not serious about you. He's just being a pathetic beggar. Frankly, I think you should just set his messages to auto-ignore or block him, and get on with your life. If he reaches out to you by other means, just block or ignore him there. All he wants to do is cheat on his wife some more. In fact, just keeping in touch with you is still cheating. There's nothing you can say that will make him feel bad for what he did. This is not the behavior of a healthy adult. It's just the behavior of an entitled manchild. 

    And that's the best advice I can give 

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You must be really dense if you 

    can't figure out why he constantly 

    "checks up" on you. 

  • 2 months ago

    He's made his choice. That's clear. Sounds like he also wants to occasionally have sex with you. Not really an affair, per se, but occasional sex. That likely has nothing to do with whether or not he's "happy" in his marriage. It's just that he also likes to poke a younger gal on the side sometimes. Good for his ego. And, since you were willing to have sex with him even though he's a married man.. he likely wonders what's changed? Why would you be willing if she didn't know but you aren't willing if she does? 

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  • 2 months ago

    he's looking for sex. 

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