Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Business & FinanceRenting & Real Estate · 1 month ago

Girlfriend wants to get married?

My girlfriend of almost 3 years really wants to get married, she also wants to buy a house, have a kid yet. 

All she says is I am not expecting a 4,000 ring like your sister. I don't want a big over the top wedding. I just want the people who truly matter. 

All she says we could buy a house once she save up more money, and her credit goes back up after she bought a car. She says it won't be our dream home, but we can do a starter home, and being a 1st time home owner helps. 

She makes it sound so simple. I know she is trying to save money. 

Advice

13 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    move on. it sounds that she wants marriage and you do not.

  • John
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    My advice would be to her.  She should unload you, and find someone who is ready to grow up and make a commitment.  

  • 1 month ago

    You will be in that starter house for 30 years.  Understand it's a major commitment. 

  • 1 month ago

    What she describes IS simple. The problem isn't whether or not it's simple, it's whether or not it's what YOU BOTH WANT.  You don't sound convinced. Of course you can do weddings on the cheap, and you do not have to spend  money on stuff you can't afford--but is this what you want to do with this woman?  She has certainly planned things--but apparently you have not. And for this to work, you BOTH have to sit down and discuss if this is the future you're looking at for BOTH of you. If it's not, then for crying out loud--don't commit to it. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    So - the only issues here is ARE YOU READY and IS SHE "THE ONE".

    My husband and I have been married for 33 years now.  Here is how it went:

    We have gold wedding bands - total cost 33 years ago - $200.  We are just as married as if the bands had cost $2,000.

    The wedding - just his parents and my parents, a best man and a maid of honor in front of a minister.  No wedding dress.  No suits.  Nothing fancy.  We are just as married as if we had 1000 guests and had spent $5000 for the dress.

    We have two children who are now adults.

    We have a home that we own.  It isn't much - but it is ours.  We have had plenty of chances to buy better wedding bands or move to a better home - but money and things aren't needed to make us happy.  We love our simple life and don't need anything flashy to be happy.

    If you wait to afford all the flashy things or all the best of things - you will discover that you have missed out on a lot of life.  She is making it very clear that she wants YOU and that she doesn't need anything flashy or fancy as long as you are part of her life.  She wants a commitment from you.  She wants to know that you are ready to spend your life with her.

    So - back to the original statement - Are you ready - is she "the one".  

  • 1 month ago

    How old are you both?  Do you love her?  Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?  Do you want to have a child soon?  Is she the $$$$ gold digging type?  Does she work and contribute?  Will she continue to after you are married?  Would she be happy with a $2k ring? If that is not within your budget, will she be happy on your income and hers?

  • 1 month ago

    Sounds like a sensible woman. In theory, all you need to do to get married is go to the registry office. The wedding could be as plain or fancy as you want it to be.

  • 1 month ago

    She sounds wise and has a plan.  The only thing missing is whether you love her, want to have a child with her, and want to spend the rest of your life with her.  Nothing else matters.  Big rings, a big house, a big wedding.....it's all just 'stuff' which in the big picture doesn't matter if you have her and your family.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    And what do you want? Sounds like maybe none of that....

  • El
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Welp. Sounds like she’s got everything planned out to a T.

    Have fun.

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