Anonymous

My boss asked me if I was autistic can I report her?

I have a problem with my right eye from birth. I was born prematurely and had to get a ton of oxygen which caused damage to my eye. When I look at people it doesn’t always look like I’m “looking at them” (it’s like a lazy eye) so at times I’ll look down so people don’t notice it as much. 

My boss came up to me the other day and out of the blue said “I notice you don’t always look people in the eyes when you speak. Are you autistic?” I was really taken back by her question. I explained to her my situation and she said “did your prematurely cause neurological damage as well? you’re a little socially awkward in the workplace.” 

I’m really insulted and a bit upset she would just come up and say that to me. I’m honestly thinking of reporting her but it would be my word over vs hers. My husband thinks I should look for a new job. What do you all think?!

5 Answers

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  • Talk to your boss about her comments. Let her know that you have a lazy right eye and you can't always make eye contact because of that. Also let her know that her comments really hurt you. If she continues and is being really mean or bully ish about you then document what she said and when she said it. When you have enough evidence report her. Make an anonymous report to HR.

  • 2 months ago

    It was a legitimate question asked by the right person who likely was following up on comments made.  Stop being sensitive.  This strictly dealt with your job function and how customers see/respond.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Most people accept feedback far better than you do.  Your employer was  honest with you and wanted to know if you needed help, so he pointed out what he has observed.  You should work on your level of maturity.  It's up to you about finding a new job.  There are no guarantees that your new employer won't notice your lack of people skills and your somewhat lazy eye, which could be mistaken for autism.  But if you want to take offense and live your life on the attack, then maybe you should find another job.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    What would be your goal in reporting her? Do you want to get her fired? That probably won’t happen. Do you want her to apologize? If so, you’d probably be better off to approach her directly. If you take it over her head or to HR you might get an apology, but you will also likely piss her off and paint a target on your back. And if she’s your direct boss, she can make your life very miserable in a lot of little ways that are all perfectly legal. I think if you’re otherwise happy with your job, well compensated, good benefits, etc. you should let this go as her being more than a little insensitive. If there are other aspects of your job you don’t like, feel free to look for something else, but don’t quit this until you’ve got something lined up.

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  • Mark
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If she said it in a mean way, yes. If she said in "I want to know how this will affect your job" way, no.

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