Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

How do you get over being upset for silly reasons?

I turned 26 recently and none of my best friends texted me happy birthday until late in the afternoon if at all.  I know it’s stupid to be so hurt over that but I make it a point to tell them happy birthday at midnight or, if they have work, as soon as they wake up so I don’t disturb their sleep. I’ve told some of them before that I really love getting texted right at midnight because every year no one texts me until later in the day but still every year there is no text from the two people I consider my closest friends. And my third closest friend didn’t even remember it was my birthday until her mother saw it on face book. I’ve been friends with these people for a decade!

I know logically that one of these people is very forgetful and the other one doesn’t intend to be rude but doesn’t think that sort of thing is important. And it’s always an entire year until a birthday, naturally, so maybe they forget. I don’t want to keep bringing it up and I definitely think there’s more to the situation that’s bothering me but that’s more like a therapy meeting.TLDR: I’m getting overly upset about small things but I don’t know how to let it go and I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Please give me advice on how to not care or just tell me to grow up. Maybe I need a harsh reminder to swallow my feelings and forget like a real adult.

6 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    You're hurt because you have had unrealistic and unreasonable unmet expectations: e.g., being congratulated at MIDNIGHT? C'mon!  How nice, if even half of your friends were thoughtful enough to congratulate all !

    Not everyone is so tuned in to electronic or other kinds of communications.  And it doesn't mean they don't care, necessarily.  As you,yourself said:  some don't "think that sort of thing is important", or at least, as important as you seem to think it is.   What does "TLDR" mean? See?Not all of us are as "electronically oriented" as yourself.  You asked us not to tell you to "grow up". But that's exactly what you need to hear.  

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Hello troubled one just try remembering we all imperfect will forget the smallest important things at times and that everyone not on the same mind set schedule as you are. Give them the benefit of doubt let them know how you felt about the situation calmly and move on life too short. Take some deep breaths and try to keep your peace of mind. 

  • 1 month ago

    happy birthday - you need better friends and that is the harsh reality.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    well for one you are aware  of your own b.s. so that's good lol, i mean that in a nice way. i got a ton of issues myself but being self aware is  so important. so your friends i mean u dont need me to tell u this but people have other things going on in their lives  so if they don't text u when u want it does not mean anything, they could of been in a depressive mood over something u know nothing about or maybe something happened in there lives or they just forgot like u mentioned above a forgetful friend.  if they said happy birthday period then they care so don't sweat it. it's tough not letting small things bother u, i struggle with this myself, this may sound like dumb advice and i doubt it will help but i'll tell u anyhow. i tell myself  in 60 years i'll be an old man and not care about any of these things, in 100 no one will know i even existed. fatalism cures most my negative thoughts, in the grand scheme of it all  it does not matter really, also get ur hormones checked, my ex was a nutcase not that u are and she was messed up hormonally.  

    Source(s): also the person below who commented missed the fact ur a chick, when i was reading ur question i was like this has to be a girl lol guys don't care about these sort of things but i get the logic behind friends or family not caring
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  • g
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Learn to set aside expectations of other people. You're just gonna keep being disappointed until you do. You aren't them, they aren't you.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Dude why does it matter if they text you happy birthday during the afternoon, it's better than not at all, my friends and i dont do it at midnight because whats the point?!.

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