Having trouble sharing my past with my therapist ?
I was sexually abused as a child and have PTSD and am just now seeking therapy for it as an adult. I’m
having a very hard time talking to my therapist about my past as every session is just me mostly sitting in silence and/or crying when she starts to bring the subject up and I find myself avoiding it.
She says that the only way I can heal and get better is if I share my story over and over again with her, but even just thinking about my past makes me largely uncomfortable and I’m afraid of reliving the trauma it if I have to talk about it. So far therapy has been completely torture for me. Is it true that the only way I can get better is by telling her my story? Is there not a different way or approach to heal?
- Anonymous2 months agoFavorite Answer
They're not really going to be able to help you unless you share it and release the negative feelings that you have about it. Obviously it's affecting your life or you wouldn't be seeking a therapist. It really depends how traumatized you are by the event. I'm not so sure about having to talk about it over and over. By releasing your guilt and shame over it is important. Obviously as a child, it was not your fault, but you are no longer that same child. Perhaps seeking a different therapist that you feel more of a connection with would help. Or finding an online therapist. Or even just trying to write down how you feel. But a therapist might help you accept that you are not that same child and it is not still happening to you. I'm not a medical professional by any means, but I've known people that were abused and lived perfectly normal lives and others that were that turned to drugs and drinking to cope. I do know that there are good therapists and bad therapists and that it helps to find one that you really like and that doesn't make you feel triggered. If you do like this person, then try just talking about other things first to build the trust. Maybe try to write a short story about your experience in the 3rd person as if it were happening to someone else. Or write yourself as the person talking to the child that you were and offering comfort and telling them that it's okay that they were powerless in that situation. That one day they will be big and they will not be powerless and that they will go onto better things. And that they are worthy of love. While obviously no one was there for you. Your adult self can be there for the child that you were. Talk to that child and offer them the comfort and support that you wish you had. And maybe one day you can be there to help others like you and show them the way towards healing. If you can't face it head-on right at this moment, then come at it sideways. It might also help to physically turn your chair away from the therapist if you do decide to proceed. You're safe from the person that did this to you now. In fact, if you faced them now, you could probably take them in a fist fight. They have no power over you anymore but you are giving them power over you by allowing yourself to be held in chains over this. I'm sure that there are online groups of other survivors of this. Seek them out. Being with people that understand would probably be helpful. Don't give up. The fact that you are seeking help is a very good start.
- ?Lv 72 months ago
Either you find the strength to be able to be open and honest with the therapist, or stop wasting their time. So that they may help another. Therapy is hit or miss at best anyways, the only way it can work is to buy into whatever they are selling, one must be completely open and honest for there to be even a chance.